4077th, revised

I was watching "MASH" on tv just now, and it brought back an old, old memory of a close friend of mine in high school. At one time, they mentioned that their third- or fourth-grade class had been taught the theme to MASH, and they sang it before an assembly. If you aren't familiar with it, the song is called "Suicide is Painless", and it has lyrics like:

"The game of life is hard to play

I'm gonna lose it anyway

The losing card I'll someday lay

so this is all I have to say.

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

The only way to win is cheat

And lay it down before I'm beat

and to another give my seat

for that's the only painless feat."

The rest is just as poignant and dark...now imagine a bunch of bright little voices lilting away off-key, singing this in front of friends and family. I still boggle at the mental image...

So anyway, being the idealistic high-schoolers we were, we decided it was much too depressing a song, and we came up with other lyrics for it...I can't remember them all, but what I do remember, I sing to myself every time I see the show or the song comes to mind. Our revised lyrics included this bit for the chorus [the only part that is still stuck in my brain cells, many years later]:

"'Cause suicide is painful

It really is quite shameful

So don't you take it,

Leave it, if you please."

Needless to say, my opinions on the subject matter have expanded and deepened as time went on and, as they say, shit happened...but those words are still there, taking up storage in my brain and triggered by hearing the first few notes of the song. And every time, I grin a bit and remember more innocent times, before shit happened and life happened and time happened...but it doesn't make me sad. Instead, it just reminds me of where I started, where I am now, and what was on the path getting here. And while I could have done without some of it, I wouldn't be who I am now without having gone through it...so all in all, it's not a bad thing.

[yup, all that from the theme song of an old sitcom/drama...welcome to my brain >.< ]