going radio silent for a while

Most likely, anyway. Saying goodbye to Brian this weekend, then getting onto plane to spend a week with my parents...after that, I guess we'll just have to see.

oh dear

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7585632.stm

a milestone

Facebook hit 100 million active members late yesterday. [50 million was in November...]

thanks, everyone

Thanks and hugs to my peeps, co-workers, losties, and random strangers...the birthday wishes are awesome and much appreciated.

and the fun keeps coming

Didn't manage to get back to sleep. Was awakened by snarling, growling, hissing cats. Pepper has shown a tendency to go into total berzerker mode when a cat comes up to the house [somewhere there is a blog post with a photo of my raked-up and bleeding arm to prove it]...and one decided it wanted to sit on my outside windowsill this morning.

Rowr. Ffft. Snarl. Yowl.

And silly Bean gets herself caught in the cross-fire, so now both of them are hissing and growling at each other, all puffy-tailed and googly-eyed. She is now hunkered down in the office, giving the occasional "leave me the fuck alone" growl, and Pepper is patrolling the windows, tail swishing, ridge of fur on his back standing straight up.

A frakkin' comedy, today is. Or a tragedy. Perhaps dramedy.

Sigh.

ugh

Rough night and morning already...wasn't feeling well yesterday, rough day at work, nearly-impossible deadline due. Came home and spent the evening taking care of a very sick, very feverish friend [ice packs, ibuprofen, sympathy...couldn't really do much else, but I tried]. Then was awakened in the wee hours of the morning by the sound of a glass falling off the nightstand [gotta learn to watch those flailing arms while sleeping]. A nearly-full glass. Of orange juice.

Cleanup on aisle six.

Now to try to snooze for a little bit before starting the day for real...

happy today, mom and dad

I love you...very much.

the beginning of the end

My last real weekend with Brian...these next two weeks are going to be rough.

saying goodbye

Dinner with Lawrence and the littles last night...my last chance to spend time with them before they move south. A good evening, just kicking back with them and Brian, sharing time. Made sure to say 'see you soon', not 'goodbye'...but was still hard.

ow

Double migraines last night...sparklies, lost half of field of vision, pain, then an hour later it started all over again. Still fighting aches and a pounding head...ow.

taking risks

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool
To weep is to risk being called sentimental
To reach out to another is to risk involvement

To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self
To place your ideas and your dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naïve

To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair and,
To try is to risk failure

But risks must be taken
The greatest risk in life is to risk nothing
The person who risks nothing... does nothing, has nothing, and becomes nothing

He may avoid suffering and sorrow
But he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live
Chained by his servitude, he is a slave
He has forfeited his freedom

Only the person who risks is truly free.

-- William Arthur Ward

awakening

She woke up crying. She didn't notice the tears for a few moments...instead, she realized that she was curled in a ball, hugging herself and a pillow, with an ache in her chest. She couldn't quite remember her dreams, just snippets here and there, fleeting bits of emotion that were fading quickly. As she rubbed her waking eyes, her hand came away wet...and that was when she noticed she was still crying. Not huge gasping sobs, just quiet tears slowly making their way down her cheeks. And still she had no idea why the tears, why the ache, why the sadness.

She sighed, got up, and started her day.

quick summary, more later

Defcon was awesome, excellent geeking out with Brian, good panels, lost Blackberry, hung with Grifter and the gang during parts of the Mystery Challenge [they won...w00t], little sleep, experiments with NoDoz, watching "The Italian Job", Star Trek Experience, discovered Star Trek convention was in town too, sad bittersweet moments when reality and ticking time hit hard, flight delayed coming back, exhausted, congrats to Lawrence on new job and confirmed move date, sadness for me as *that* reality hits hard.

Too many reality hits in too short a time...

never enough time

Hectic times at work; today is packed, much to get done before we fly to Defcon tonight. Lots of deadlines coming up, both at work and in personal life...endings, beginnings, continuings. Some rough times ahead...I'll make it through [no choice], but getting between now and then is going to be draining.