the damage count grows

It has been raining and/or grey since my car got vandalized, so today was the first day I was able to get a good look at him in the sunlight...and it's not good. Multiple places where there are huge chip patterns in the paint [and through the paint, damn it] from where the eggs impacted, and the sunroof mechanisms are impossible to get to and clean...all of which means I am going to have to take the car in to the dealer to see about getting it repaired. Sigh.

The funny thing is that all of this is leading me and Will to get a place together sooner than we had planned...so just like we wouldn't have even been dating if it hadn't been for a third party causing drama, we wouldn't be thinking about moving in together right now if it hadn't been for this. Oh, the irony...

a very timely smile

While I was out visiting Dad, a bunch of us were talking about things we just can't seem to find much anymore. Two of mine were Archway Dutch Cocoa cookies and those chocolate oranges that usually show up around the holidays [big round ball of chocolate, sectioned into wedges, wrapped in orange foil]. My Aunt Monie surprised me a few days later with both [how much does she rock??]. One pack of cookies was sacrificed to indulgence before I even left; the others made it to California, and were closely rationed out until sadly, they too were gone.

Completely lost in the shuffle and the craziness and the boxes was the orange chocolate...until today:

Found it hiding under some stuff I'd packed up, trying to avoid its fate...but to no avail. Yum. It was a much-needed smile, at a very opportune time.

Thank you, Antimony...

a frustrating night

Second time I've had to file a police report for vandalism while parked at Will's place. On my brand-new, barely-four-months-old car. The first time was a few days before I went on leave to spend time with dad...some young guys were on a spree in the area, hitting cars with high-velocity globs of some sort of soap or cream [the most likely theory was that they had attached a canister of the substance to a paint gun, propelling it in rapid bursts]. It washed off and there wasn't any damage, but it was still very annoying and very frustrating.

Last night I was house/dogsitting for Will while he is on a business trip...I had just fed the dogs when I heard POP POP POP noises. I flashed back on the earlier incident and ran outside to see what was going on. Eggs. All over the car, the driveway, and the garage door. Saw a car zooming away, so was able to get a description for the police. The officer showed up very quickly and was very good, very professional, very sympathetic. Took the report, got the details, gave me the case card...a routine I'm now very familiar with.

So I spent a few hours in the dark washing my car and trying to clean egg out of the inside of the car and off the netting under my sunroof...there is still yolk in the tracks and runners, and you can hear shells crunching as it closes. Short of taking it to the dealer and disassembling it, there is no way to get to everything [sigh]. And this time there is damage: chips in the paint from the shells, and the yolk has damaged the sunroof netting. It was too dark to see if the dripping yolk damaged the upholstery, so crossing my fingers that I got it cleaned up soon enough.

Will is very frustrated and disgusted with his neighborhood...I texted him after it happened, and he felt horrible. He's never really liked the place; it's old, falling apart, nasty hard water, old pipes, old appliances. But the location [near highways, right by one of the fire stations he works at], the yard for the dogs, and the rent were good, so he stayed. He felt really bad when I told him it happened again, offered to pay for getting the car cleaned and any repairs needed [of course I told him not to worry about it].

So this morning I head back down to feed the dogs, scrub off the garage door, then out to get the car cleaned again and inspect it in daylight. One more thing to add to the pile...sigh.

single again

Well, for the weekend anyway...Will finally gave in to my cajoling and snagged some time in Tahoe to go snowboarding with his buddy. He wanted me to go with, and I will definitely go next time, but right now I'm still having troubles with the social interactions, being smiley and happy and interactive. I don't like to admit it, but it's rougher getting through some of this than I hoped, especially given the time I had to prepare and the time I had with Dad before he died to talk things through. Been putting on the brave face for Will, and he's been awesome...but I'll admit that it's good to have some time totally to myself, time that lets me just be alone, no need to worry about being "on" for someone else. Still trying to figure out how to work through all of this...some days are okay, others not so much. Just kind of hanging in there, one moment after another, and making it through each day a bit at a time. I know that time is what it will take, and I've got faith in myself...but a fast-forward button would be really nice sometimes.

a tough subject, death

One which Sir Terry Pratchett discusses very frankly and with great thought and gentle humour in the following videos...dying with dignity, choosing your manner of leaving life. He is suffering from a very rare form of Alzheimer's, one which strips him of his ability to process visual information properly. Can you imagine being a very intelligent, very prolific, very clever writer who knows he is losing his ability to type, to follow words on paper, to even recognize his notebook in front of him?

On February 1st, 2010, he delivered the annual Richard Dimbleby lecture, giving a very personal, very straightforward speech about his illness, his feelings on terminal diseases and dying, and his own desire to die peacefully on his own terms. As he puts it,

As I have said, I would like to die peacefully with Thomas Tallis on my iPod before the disease takes me over and I hope that will not be for quite some time to come, because if I knew that I could die at any time I wanted, then suddenly every day would be as ­precious as a million pounds. If I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice.

Those of you who know me know that dying with dignity is a cause very close to my heart, one I feel very strongly about...so these videos were very hard for me to watch, but very, very worthwhile.

Here is the link to the article that pointed me to the videos, with good backstory to the speech: http://www.weirduniverse.net/blog/permalink/shaking_hands_with_death/

And a direct link to the slightly edited transcript of the speech: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/feb/02/terry-pratchett-assisted-suicide-tribunal

The videos themselves:













There is a lot I can say here, a lot I am feeling, a lot I am dealing with and will be dealing with for a very long time...until I find the words to express some of it, I will borrow his.

Thank you, Sir Terry...I only wish that Dad could have heard this.