icky

The temp inside my place right now:


Blegh.

trip report

So let's see...went to NANOG with Will last week. It's the North American Network Operators' Group, so lots of geeks hanging out, days of talks and meetings, and nights of having fun and enjoying like company. There was an interesting talk about beaming wireless internet to the Farallon Islands [directed antennas in San Francisco sending the intertubes out to the folks on the island], some good stuff about IPv6 [heads up folks, it's coming up fast], a bunch of stuff that was outside my area but interesting to sit in on, and lots of awesome people.

The people were the best part...not just hanging out with techy types again, but getting to hang out with the people that are important to Will: Ren and Joe, Susan and Cathy, Todd, Tony, Jon, the other Jon, Nate, Dave, Colin, Mike, the other Mike, Martin, Joel, Stacy and Aaron, the other Aaron, Sylvie, Ed, Monica, Nina, Cat, Terry, and other names that are slipping my mind right now but are no less cool and awesome.

Joined the netgrrls dinner one night, good conversation and a surprising sense of community and shared experiences. Party at Ruby Skye another night, with open bar and Love Fool rocking the 80s and 90s hits. Fun sci-fi theme at the Clift Hotel another night, with a Star Wars photo op, classic SF movies playing, and [need I say it] an open bar. Lunches with Jon and Nate, another with a whole gang of geeks at the Burger Barn. Finding out that Colin not only knew what FTP Software was and what we did, it turns out he actually worked for our largest reseller, Cohesive [and we even remember some of the same folks...such a small valley]. All in all, a good time [and even better, I got asked to come to the next gathering].

Wednesday night was a BBQ at the Hugheseses, just Stacy, Aaron, John, Barbara, Will, and me, having a relaxing night, good talks, strong drinks, excellent food [rotisserie chicken, om nom]. Then Saturday evening was a return trip for Aaron's birthday, with grilled beef for fajitas, excellent aioli for the artichokes, very tasty brie and foie gras appetizers. A good crowd, more good conversation, lots of sharing geek toys and tricks. The weather was perfect, and we all went for a walk along with beach [lucky Stacy and Aaron live within walking distance...jealous]. Good times.

Before making the trek down to the Hugheses, we spent the early afternoon at Hiller Aviation Museum for the Vertical Challenge...helicopters, acrobatic stunt kite demonstrations, skydivers, flybys by a C5 transport plane [that thing is HUGE], Harriers flying overhead [amazing how something that can break the sound barrier can also stop dead, hover, and reverse] and a jaw-dropping demonstration of PG&E high-tension power line repair [two guys dangle in a chair hanging on a cable from a chopper, which maneuvers to the damaged line and hovers as still as possible while the guys below work on the line...crazy awesome work, never knew they did it that way].

That Saturday was one of the better days I've had in a while: we rambled about in the morning, woke up when the dogs told us they needed to go out, then crawled back into bed and snoozed again...took our time, went out and about, got Starbucks, went to Hiller, had a nice walk to/from the airport, then headed south for the birthday festivities. A busy day, but one that just flowed, one thing into another, no muss, no fuss, no agenda, just go and do and be.

So there's my summary of the past week. Lots that I didn't put down in bits and pixels; not for lack of interest, but rather for a bit more brevity. With luck, there's a bit of down time coming up before things get busy again...we've got concerts, conferences, air shows, Vegas, and ground school on the calendar just in the next few months, so it's going to be interesting juggling it all. But I'm not complaining...

preach it!

amen, brother!

Will has heard me rant on this exact thing many a time:

long days, good days

In SF with Will, joining him for NANOG...conferences, talks, info, and peering, both network type and social. Very nice to hang with so many geeks, make some connections, and meet the folks who are such an important part of Will's life. Days start early and run long, but it's worth it...I'll try to post a few more details later.

melancholy

Dad's birthday today.

ephemera

When I shower, and the glass door or vinyl curtain or tile wall steams up, I put my hand quietly and deliberately in the smooth unblemished plain of steam, rest it there for a few seconds, then carefully pull it away, leaving my handprint behind. I've been doing it for ages now...it started out innocently, then it turned into a moment for reflection: this is me, uniquely so, and this is a mark I am making on the world today. Ephemeral, fleeting, solidly there but then gone, smile as you create then sadness as it fades then realization that you can create the moment again, and that the next moment, while similar, won't be the same. One of those "stepping away from the flow" moments we all steal from the marching tick-tick-tick of life, where we can drop everything and just *be* for a few precious seconds.

Then I saw "Up" with Dad last summer, and we smiled at each other when the main characters built their house and lived their lives, and we cried together during the oh-so-beautiful and oh-so-painful and ouch-too-close-to-home opening sequence that was just a bit too immediate for both of us. And now that handprint moment is tinged with sadness and memory, because it reminds me of the mailbox in the movie, decorated with the handprints of two people who loved each other and lived adventures and made their own path.

So now my little ritual has evolved...from being a quiet moment just for me, just outside of time, it's now becoming a remembrance of the source of much of my outlook and many of my values, of love, of time spent [not wasted], and moments to appreciate. The fleeting nature of a handprint in steam becomes a reminder of how things fade, yet while they are there, they are lovely and complex and simple and real nonetheless.

In time, I'll find another quirky little ritual that will give me the chance to take time out from things and not think for a few seconds...but this is one that I don't mind sharing with them.

brain dump

Not a lot of interest in posting lately...quick sum-up of some things so I'll have it to look back on later:

* spent a day down in Santa Cruz with the Hughes gang [the Hugheseses]...good talks, good food, good time. Met her hog-nosed snake [adorable], had some really good conversations, some strong drinks, nice walks on the sand as we headed to a yummy lunch. They are some of Will's colleagues through NANOG and GPF, so I really enjoyed hanging with "my people" [aka geeks/dorks/nerds]. As a cool note, one half of the Hugheseses is also a blonde, green-eyed, MINI-driving Stac[e]y...can't go wrong with that.

* concert up in San Francisco...3OH!3 were the reason we went, also saw I Fight Dragons and Travie McCoy [of Gym Class Heroes, doing his solo Lazarus Project thing]. 3OH!3 were quite good, full of energy and more edgy in person than I expected...definitely worth trekking up to SF for. I Fight Dragons were fun...they had a Nintendo controller, Power Glove, and Power Pad, all attached to a synth. The chick wearing the glove used them to play tunes on the synth, with cool 8-bit tones. A good night.

* playing with Will's dog Darwin. He used to be quite annoying...cute dog, but had some bad habits and had been allowed to get away with a lot of stuff that he shouldn't have been. We've been spending time with him, training him, playing with him, and he's gotten quite adorable. Got a good harness for him and took him out for a walk and he did great. He's getting the hang of chasing after a toy and bringing it back, and it's fun to get him running back and forth. He's gone from being a spoiled little annoyance to a quite awesome little guy.

* CA Geeks dinner in SF...this one was very cool, but a little sad for me personally: it was at a German restaurant in SF, with some pretty tasty authentic German food...and I kept thinking "I've got to tell Dad about this place" [sigh]. But other than that, it was fun...eight of us, drinking beer [one guy got the 2-liter boot...that was a LOT of beer], eating spaetzle and schnitzel and sausage and potatoes and apple strudel. Another good time hanging with geeks...yay.

* some random little things: a day at the San Francisco Zoo. Watching the finale of LOST. Working through season five of Supernatural [and absolutely loving the song 'O Death' and the scene it was used in...seriously, check it out on youtube]. Dealing with Taz's glands [Will's other dog...her anal glands got infected (ew)]. Booking the trip to Vegas to see Blue Man Group. Getting the tickets ordered for Dropkick Murphys in Reno for me, Will, and our friend Kim [who is a big fan also]. Will's place getting egged [third vandalism there in a year...sigh]. My palm healing, but the scar tissue inside the wound making it annoying and less than 100%...the only way to fix it would be surgery to open it up and dig it out, and even that's no guarantee it wouldn't just scar up again. Termite spraying at my place, forcing me to move everything away from the walls in my garage and not being able to park in it...and then the landlord forgetting to fax in the release, so it got delayed by another week. The folks at the car dealership scratching Will's car, forcing them to get it taken care of by a body shop at their own expense [sadly, I just can't recommend MINI of Mountain View anymore...they've really gone downhill]. A rough phone call with a close friend, followed a week later by another one. Playing through messages on my phone, and forgetting that there was one from Mom there.

It sounds like a lot has been going on, and yeah, there have been busy times, but basically I've been lying low. Kind of struggling right now, and I've been avoiding folks who were part of my life before everything happened...I guess I don't know how to deal with more questions and looks and loving attempts to keep me busy and distracted. A couple of folks I'm close to are going through some personal crises of their own, so I don't want to pile on and add to their stress...my situation will just take time to work through, theirs are a bit more immediate. But with Mom's birthday just past and Dad's coming up [not to mention the over-saturation of Mother's and Father's Day reminders during the same time period], I'm kind of at a loss. The weird thing is that I haven't been able to cry for a long while now...when you don't want to, you can't help it; when you need the catharsis, you can't.

Time. That's what it takes. But damn it, moving forward one second at a time is so frustratingly *slow* sometimes...