an unexpected connection

The universe can be weird sometimes.

I was browsing my favorite "weird surplus crap" site (American Science & Surplus, so much awesomeness and randomness) and saw a "Pocket Beating Heart Toy".

It reminded me of a teddy bear my mom had for years...it had a "heart" that made a thumpthump you could feel and hear when you hugged it, and she had that thing for decades, right up to the end. I bought one of the hearts for nostalgia's sake, and it turns out it is the *actual* model used in the bear, same brand, same sound, same thumpthump.

Trippy.

So next I went to eBay, out of curiosity more than anything. Boom, there it was: an original "Heart to Heart Bear", at a great price because it didn't have its own heart (poor thing). No problem, I've got a donor heart all ready to transplant. 💓💓

Now, randomly and unexpectedly, I have a new connection to my past and to my mother, ten years after losing her.

The universe can be weird sometimes.

eBay listing photo,
courtesy of davesstuff0100

(posted here for posterity, originally posted to facebook)

ten years

Ten years since that awful Friday the 13th when I didn't make it home in time. Getting the call while I was still on a connecting flight. Some sweet random woman quietly handing me a tissue as I listened to the voicemail from my sister telling me Mom was gone. The rest of the flights and airports a hazy blur that I don't really remember. Trying to keep Dad going, not wanting to lose him too, not this soon. The next days and months just a vague blob of grey.

I miss you, Mom.