bean update 2

No luck with the latest ultrasound...it might mean surgery.

bean update

She is on IV fluids for the next few hours. X-rays showed an odd mass in her bladder...the doctor hadn't seen anything like it before. He tried to do an ultrasound, but Bean had just decided to empty what little was in her bladder just seconds before...on my leg. Empty bladder meant it was hard to get a good image, but he confirmed an odd mass.

So now it's fluids to try to fill the bladder so he can get a better idea of what it is...otherwise it will have to be exploratory surgery.

Off to get some food and wait for the clinic to call...

aw hell...

Just made a 10a appointment for TheBean. She's having trouble...her neurological troubles seem to be acting up: she's falling down, her legs are shaking and falling out from under her, she's lying flat on her back when she lies down, she's 'talking' a lot, and when she does lie down, she keeps moving and squirming.

So away we go to the vet...

thunda from down unda

Just got back from seeing "Thunder from Down Under" in San Jose. They were at the Miami Beach Club...quite an entertaining venue, especially if you like neon electric palm trees, restrooms with no toilet paper and doors with no locks, and a huge marlin on the wall.

Tonight made the hat trick with Susy: Mix-A-Lot and Good Vibrations, Passion Party and The Brass Rail, and now male strippers. VIP tickets meant early entry, seats right at the stage, and a pre-show meet and greet [or as I called it, "greet the meat"]. It was a lot of fun, and the guys were having fun too, which made it better...and I even saw a few body types that I liked. I'm not a fan of the super-ripped bods with creepy crocodile abs, so tonight was a nice surprise...the guys were toned and fit, but more swimmer/surfer builds than body builder types. The MC [also a dancer] was my favorite...not that I would turn any of them away, mind you. <grin>

And for souvenirs: an autographed poster that I won, and a photo with the guys, signed by all of them plus their "Guy Friday", the one that ran around making sure all the props were in the right place [and more importantly, not in the wrong place], ran the merchandise table, and generally kept everything humming along. I was the only one to get his autograph...I think I surprised him.

Now to hydrate and head to bed, soothed to sleep by the persistent 'heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' sound [my other souvenir of the evening, courtesy of too much volume, too much bass, and too many screaming women].

G'night all...

check that off for another year

Taxes are done...whew.

an anniversary of sorts

Seven years since things went to hell in Toronto, and I couldn't lie to myself about Greg and Amy anymore. Didn't keep me from trying, though, and the next months were some I barely remember and hope to never have to experience again. But somehow I made it through...with the help of friends, people I didn't even realize were friends, my parents, an incredibly sweet man with great timing, a wicked sense of humor, an incredible smile and an acceptance of me that I had never had before, all along with something in myself that just wouldn't let me curl up and fade away [however much I may have wanted to].

Weird to think it's been so many years since all of that. It seems like it just happened, yet it seems like it never happened at all. No, that's not true...it definitely happened, or I wouldn't be who I am today. It still resonates, still hurts sometimes, and the scars will always be there...

...but I made it through it and made it past it, and I'm moving on.

a nice thing to hear

The Engineering group does 'Beer Fridays' [they dubbed me an honorary engineer :^) ]. We all contribute to the beverage fund, and once a week, someone runs to CostCo and gets beer and some non-alcoholic beverages. We were always having to share one opener, so last week I snagged a couple while I was out and just slipped them into the beer fund.

The holder o' the fund came to me the next day and thanked me for them. When I asked how the heck he knew it was me, he said, "Of course it was you. You are the cool one that does stuff like that."

Made me feel good.

jello shots, sex toys, and strippers

[Bet that got your attention!] That, in a nutshell, was my evening. Susy hosted a "Passion Party" [think Tupperware party, only a bit more adult]. A lot of fun, a rowdy group, and good gods, the jello shots were strong [we won't even mention the "martini" that was served in a pint glass]. Lots of fun, a very patient product consultant, some really interesting products [I will never look at Q-tips the same way again...wow].

Then we ended the night by closing down The Brass Rail, making it the most fun Good Friday I've ever had.

resetting

A tough week, busy with things that have nothing to do with my chosen career, but which are a part of my current job. Got totally overwhelmed by it all yesterday...got through it, but I hate that feeling. And worse was that someone I thought understood came down on me for letting it get to me.

So I need to reset myself and how I think of things. This job is paying the bills. That person isn't someone I should get too invested in. You sometimes need to *not* get too invested in someone or something.

You need to look out for yourself.

oh gods

I feel awful. I completely lost track of the days and time, and stood Anne up for dinner tonight. Between vet visits, no sleep, things at work, and everything else, I've just been trying to keep my head above water. I feel terrible...I didn't even remember it until hours later when I got voicemail from her, wondering where I was.

I've got to get things under control again...