feeling old

feeling old,
originally uploaded by tiredcynic.

Target is selling polo shirts. As "retro" wear.

Man, do I feel old...

two songs that really need to go away now

Daniel Powter, "Bad Day", and James Blunt, "You're Beautiful"

We've heard them. Many times. They need to fade away quietly, please. Pretty please. No, really. It's time now. Buh-bye.

all bases covered

There was the one that wanted someone else. The one that the timing wasn't right. The one that wanted long-term too soon. The one that I wasn't ready for long-term with yet. The one that wasn't ready for long-term with me.

This bodes well for the next one. One of the previous ones? Someone new? The world may never know [thank you, Mr. Owl].

evian will, evian will, rock you

http://www.epica-awards.org/assets/epica/2004/winners/film/flv/06037.htm

a fateful mouse click

[So I had a whole thing typed up about a lot of things whirling around in my head: having two terminal parents, trying to figure out the what/when/where thing, dealing with the passive-aggressive and the inertia-bound, being lucky to have true friends, seeing the difference in who I was six years ago and who I am now, trying to be in the moment, juggling commitments, fighting minor health issues, and so on. Then I accidentally hit the wrong mouse button, which took my browser back a page, thus losing every incredibly wise, poignant, salient, soul-baring bit.

So rather than retype it and relive it, I'm just going to say this instead: I'm frickin' lucky. Even with the money concerns and the life situation, I've got a lot. Friends, real friends. Family, who have been there for me and made it possible for me to challenge myself, knowing that they could catch me if I fell. Love, in various forms, past/present/future, which I am richer for having. A roof over my head, the ability to get regular meals, and my mobility. Occasional bursts of perspective, frivolity, insight, goofiness, randomness, introspection. Wishes, dreams, desires, all of which have the potential of fulfillment.

Yeah, I'm going to have down times. And I'll whinge about how much life sucks sometimes. But overall, life is good...and thank you for being part of it.]

grumbly

Grumble, mumble...a grumbly day. Little things piling up and making a little storm cloud over my head. Got stiffed for about $40 at Dave and Buster's last night [I paid with my credit card, and people didn't pony up enough cash to cover the $240 tab...tried to get it cleared up, but no one would admit they hadn't paid enough]. Then some folks went a little nutso with my game card, and ended up burning through the $25 I had put on it. It was all for Kathy's birthday, but I can't afford to pay for everyone else's fun, darn it. Add to that the cost of the game card from my own party there, plus the amount I plunked down in SF last weekend, and I'm burning cash too quickly. I want to spend time with friends, and I enjoy it, but I just can't afford it.

Been trying to get my keys back from the folks who watched my cat for me when I went to Australia [we've been trading cat-sitting], but didn't hear back from them even though I was trying to buy them dinner to say thank you. Now they are in touch, and need some cat-sitting [well, cat-picking-up-at-the-cat-hotel]...not a big deal, except there is some last-minute notice to get my keys and theirs, and by the way, the carrier may not be available you may need to go to the house, pick it up, go pick the cat up, then go back to the house. Not necessarily a big deal in itself, but with the other frustrations, it adds up.

And I'm getting little or no time to just recharge. I've got a lot of things I need to do, errand- and project-wise, and I also have some social commitments that are weighing on me. It sounds stupid to complain about having to do social things, but I can't afford it all, either budget-wise or recharging-wise right now. I have commitments now every night through Sunday, and I'm freaking out about the money. I'm going to end up cancelling most of them, which sucks, but I just don't have the cash to spare [especially after the last two Dave and Buster's trips]. Plus I have to pay for my trip back to Ohio, and there are things I have to get done while I'm off work, which will cost money.

Sigh. Grumble. I'll get over it. But I've got some serious cutting back to do to bring some peace of mind...because the current situation certainly isn't giving me that.

happy birthday, kathy!

Celebrated Kathy's birthday at Dave and Buster's tonight...fun time. Drinks, dining, games, an air cannon for the guys [bought with the tickets we won on the games], a Batman for Batsam [his nickname]. Fun times...and I think there are photos for evidence of the night, too. Uh oh... :^)

noodles at 1:30a

A great day with Stephane, Rod, and Eileen in San Francisco [pictures to come]. An awesome evening celebrating Kristy's birthday at Hotel Valencia [in Santana Row, down San Jose way]...drinks, fun, flirting, then late night [early morning] noodles with KC, Sam, and Bassam.

Now to crawl into bed...

priceless

3.5 gallons of gas: $12.10
Parking at 5th and Mission: $17.00
Lunch at Park Chalet at Ocean Beach: $40.00

Time in San Francisco with friends: priceless

they've still got it

Coming home from seeing Depeche Mode...awesome show, and really enjoyed the time with Kristy.

Now to get a few hours of sleep before my last day at ActivIdentity...