oh noes...

Sick with my first cold in over a year. Luckily, nothing huge...just some breathing and throat troubles. Only bummer is that I can't stay home from work, since we are in the middle of a huge [HUGE] deadline [the one that I whined about earlier <grin>]. With luck, I'll make the deadline and be able to rest on Saturday...if not, I'll keep medicating, gargling with warm salt water, and trying my best to keep my germs to myself. Go, go, gadget immune system!

[LOL! I crack me up! Just re-read my post from about 8 days ago...man, the gods of irony *were* listening. ]

counting down

quick update

Work: hectic times, huge deadline next week, people in the workflow chain in front me slipped some of their deadlines, but I can't slip because I'm at the end of my part of the chain. Ugh. Plus reviews, peer, manager, and self. Joyfulness...but it's a paycheck, so yay for that.

Health: doing pretty well. Knock on wood, no bouts of bronchitis for over a year now [those of you who know me know how astonishing that is]. Of course, now that I've said it, the gods of irony are going to smack me down...

Life: it goes fairly well, actually. Good times with friends, catching up on movies in the library and making lists of others to add to it, registered for the MSF course at the end of February [my now-traditional year-end treat to myself [previous years included a cartilage piercing and my tattoo]...I would be taking it sooner, but the aforementioned deadline got in the way]. Missing my parents immensely. Missing Lawrence immensely, want to plan a trip to see him and the littles in the near future. Cats are doing well, even if they haven't seen much of me lately. The weather is interesting...we had beautiful sunny 65-70 degree days for the past week or so, and now it's cooling down and raining [but I'm still not going to complain too much, since my parents are dealing with single digits and being snowed in].

So all in all, not too shabby...I have zero complaints. <smile>

four years ago today...

...a pitifully meowing cat came off a plane from Ohio to start a different life in California. Wonder if Pepper misses the cold winters and boiling summers outdoors? <grin>

to sum up

Nice Christmas, good new year. Miss my family, both blood and chosen. Old wounds healing, new drama fading, same old job continues in same old way. Catching up with some folks, saying goodbye to others, finding unexpected connections. Putting hard-earned lessons into real-world use, learning new ones to be used when needed. Finding that human nature remains consistent, which is both good and not-so-good. Finding joy in the moments, using pain as a springboard, slowing down and enjoying the pockets of contentment wherever they might be.

Here's to 2008...it did its best. And here's looking ahead to 2009...

merry today

If you celebrate the day, the season, or just being alive, I hope today is good for you.

the gift of time

Four years ago today, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. We've had four years more than we thought we might, and I am glad for every moment.

I love you, Mom.

not a redhead, sorry

So an ex-girlfriend of a friend of mine "just knows" that he and I have been having an affair for more than a year now [because why else would he have broken up with her?]. She has even had a friend drive by my house and take pictures, and then driven by my house herself, hoping to catch him cheating on her [never mind the fact that they have been broken up for months so it wouldn't have been "cheating" even if anything *had* been going on]. She also apparently made her accusations known in one of her blogs, using my full name...which was then used by both her friend [the one that drove by] and his ex-twice-removed to track me down.

Lucky me, I am now fortunate enough to have been targeted by that other ex too...according to her, I am a redheaded co-worker that has been scamming on him for months. [Hint: check out any number of the pics on my blog here and you'll see that I'm not quite a redhead. For that matter, read back a few months and you'll see that I was quite happily "scamming on" someone else for many months...no room for another guy there, sorry.]

I get needing to blame somebody/anybody for a dying relationship, be it friendship or otherwise...I really do. It's hard to accept that someone doesn't want to be with you anymore, so it's easier to move on if you can hang the 'why' on someone else. And I get lashing out in pain at being left behind...at least, I can understand the motivation behind it. But I don't understand actually doing it, especially involving a third party who is outside it all. And I don't like having people that I don't even know make such severe judgments about me, especially when they are based on assumptions and conjecture that have no root in fact.

So now here I am, having to research restraining orders and subpoenas for logs and email, for three different people whom I have never met and never had anything to do with, just in case I am forced to take action. Can't say I ever expected to be in this situation... >.<

so...life...

It's good. Work is work, but not stressing since it's a paycheck. Forcibly taking control of life-outside-work [wow, there really *is* such a thing] and making it mine. Had an awesome time at the Live105 Not So Silent Night concert...The Killers were incredible, laughed my ass off at the Bloc Party lead singer that couldn't keep from watching himself in the overhead screens, enjoyed being a "Not So Subtle VIP" [commemorative hoodie, free parking, straight-to-the-front-of-the-line admission, our own bar, and decent seats just to the right of the stage]. A spate of drama a bit ago, but that seems to be settling down [knock on wood]. Working on balancing work and life a bit more, erring in the 'life' direction where I can; been taking better care of myself, though sleeping a little less...but by choice lately, so zero complaints.

All in all, enjoying life and where I am at the moment. Huzzah.

wise words

From a book I'm reading [re-reading]:

Two characters are having a handfasting ceremony, and the Elder says to them:

"This bond, this joining, is not meant to be a fetter. A joining is a partnership, not two people becoming one. Two minds cannot fuse, two souls cannot merge, two hearts cannot keep to the same time. If two are foolish enough to try this, one must overwhelm the other, and that is not love, nor is it compassion, nor responsibility. You are two who choose to walk the same path, to bridge the differences between you with love. You must remember and respect those differences and learn to understand them, for they are part of what made you come to love in the first place. Love is patient, love is willing to compromise - love is willing to admit it is wrong. There will be hard times; you must face them as bound warriors do, side by side, not using the weapon of your knowledge to tear at each other. There will be sadness as well as joy, and you must support one another through the grief and sorrow. There will be pain - but pain shared is pain halved, as joy shared is joy doubled, and you each must sacrifice your own comfort to share the pain of the other. And yet, you must do all this and manage to keep each other from wrong actions, for a joining means that you also pledge to help one another at all times. You must lead each other by example. Guide and be willing to be guided. Being joined does not mean that you accept what is truly wrong; being joined means that you must strive that you both remain in the light and in the right. You must not pledge yourselves thinking that you can change each other. That is rankest folly, and disrespectful, for no one has the right to change another. You must not pledge yourselves thinking that there will be no strife between you. That is fantasy, for you are two and not one, and there will inevitably come conflict that it will be up to you to resolve. You must not pledge yourselves thinking that all will be well from this moment on. That is a dream, and dreamers must eventually wake. You must come to this joining fully ready, fully committed, and fully respectful of each other."