this thing doesn't care (from fb - 20200328)

(this is a post I originally made on facebook, copied here and backdated so I can look back on it later)

This thing doesn't care. It doesn't care if your area is red or blue, wealthy or poor. It doesn't care which candidate you support or which you despise. It doesn't care if a politician wants everything to go back to normal by Easter. It doesn't care if you think it's "just" a flu, it doesn't care that you take your vitamins, it doesn't care that you "never get sick". It doesn't care if you think you feel fine, it doesn't care if you think you are invulnerable.

It doesn't care if you are young, old, healthy, ill, strong, or weak. But it does hit the weakest, the oldest, the sickest, the most vulnerable the hardest, so your actions ripple out and have consequences even more than they normally do. Every single one of us is only a few degrees of separation at the most from being affected, with many of us already suffering.

Now is the time to trust doctors and health officials, to listen to the people who have spent their lives studying and working with situations like this. It's time to realize that this is bigger than you, bigger than your personal wants and needs, bigger than demographics and borders and biases and colors and creeds. Now is the time to remember that those lines on the charts and numbers in the reports are *people*, with lives and loves and hopes and dreams.

Now is the time to realize that in spite of the necessary physical isolation, we are not alone. We can get through this, and we will see the other side.

We can do this.

listen to the experts (from fb - 20200323)

(this is a post I originally made on facebook, copied here and backdated so I can look back on it later)

Please do not let politicians and economists sway you during this health crisis. Listen to the doctors, the medical experts. These are hard times, but we *need* to think beyond ourselves right now.

This is a marathon, not a sprint. Be safe.

24.9

For the first time in about eleven years, my BMI is in the "healthy" range (yeah, I know BMI isn't a great metric to use because of how generic and "one size fits all" it is, but it's a good rough guideline).

Not going to lie, it's embarrassing that I gained so much weight. Oh sure, I can explain why: mom dying, family drama, dad killing himself, family drama, job drama, health issues, broken ankle, life changes, five years (and counting) of nerve damage fun. And it sneaks up on you...less than a pound a month over years adds up to more than you would like to think. But ultimately it's on me to own it and make the effort.

About eight months ago, I started to change things. It started out really small: ten minutes a day of walking around the outside of the house. Flip flops and pajama pants, a big floppy hat. Just something, anything to get moving. Will joined in, so I had a walking partner to make the time pass a bit quicker.

I used a Garmin watch to track steps and started at about 4000 steps a day. Used the "move alert" feature to remind me to get up and walk around every hour. Starting ramping up the daily steps as the weeks went on, adding more minutes or more sessions to the daily walks.

A few months in, I got some good walking shoes and started using MyFitnessPal to keep an eye on calories. (One cool feature of the app: It estimates what your weight would be in five weeks if every day were like the current one. A good motivator.)

It became a daily routine: Get up, get changed, walk. Garmin kept track of streaks and totals, which helped keep me motivated (we humans are easy to manipulate, just show us a high score and we try to beat it).

The calorie watching was the biggest factor in the weight loss, far more than the exercise. Not a diet...I've been saying "if you go on a diet, you'll go off a diet". Instead, we simply tracked what we ate and got a better idea of just how many calories and macronutrients were in everything. I still eat mostly the same things, just a bit less of them. Still have Taco Bell and pizza, still snack and graze. But now I am a lot more aware of how those seemingly small things add up.

---

Fast forward to today. I'm now regularly doing 15,000+ steps a day and walking about 3.5 miles each morning. I'm down over 80 pounds (and would still like to lose a few more). I've got a streak going of over 250 days of hitting my daily step goal; with luck, I will get to a full year.

According to Garmin, I've logged nearly 4 million steps and over 1700 miles in the past eight months. I take more steps than 99% of their other users of any age range. I now compete regularly in online "step challenges" against other Garmin users, and I've placed in the top three multiple times (including some first places, woot).

I'm definitely seeing a change in my breathing, my stamina, and my endurance. Gone down a few clothing sizes, donated boxes of old clothes, and now have a full section of my closet dedicated to fitness clothes (which cracks me up).

Will has been an awesome partner through all of it. He's also lost weight and slimmed down, and we keep each other motivated. I've got good friends who are also cheering me on and helping me see the changes that I can't. 

The most important part for me was making sure it was sustainable. I needed this to be something I could do wherever I was, whatever I was doing, for as long as I was able. I didn't want to completely restrict what I ate; I still wanted to have fun and eat tasty foods. So far, it seems to be working...I still have a bit more to go, but so far, so good. <crosses fingers>

And now some pics for my future motivation (and a reminder to not let it get out of hand again):

 

(You can tell I started to actively track my calorie intake
right around the beginning of August.)

 

 

Left: March 2017 - Right: March 2020
(Isn't the drooping eyelid lovely? One of the presents the
shingles/neuralgia left behind. Ugh.)

Left: May 2019 - Right: March 2020
(and that lovely drooping eyelid)

thinking beyond ourselves (from fb - 20200315)

(this is a post I originally made on facebook, copied here and backdated so I can look back on it later)

I have a cousin who is extremely pregnant, I have a friend who is extremely pregnant. I have friends who are at severe risk because of cancer and other illnesses, friends with kids who are immunocompromised because of leukemia. I have older friends, sick friends, young friends, healthy friends...all are at risk.

I'm guessing that most people have someone in their lives who is in danger because of this virus. Even if you are healthy, if you are not showing any symptoms, you could unknowingly spread it.

We need to make sure our emergency facilities and hospitals can handle what is coming. This means slowing down the spread, "flattening the curve" of people needing emergency help, slowing down the spikes of need. People will still get sick, they may still die, but we need to do all we can to make sure that our hospitals and emergency personnel aren't overwhelmed and helpless.

Please please please think beyond yourself right now. Skip the party, avoid the festival, don't go to the bar, give each other space. Everything we can do now could save lives in the coming days.

Don't panic. But do think, and empathize, and realize that this is a *global* issue, and only by thinking beyond ourselves can we get things under control.

Johns Hopkins Coronavirus Resource Center

a gg evening (and a quick catch-up)

A familiar refrain: A drive to the city, a bouncingsingingpunkrocking night at Slim's, and the Gimmes.

The full band name is Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, but it looks like they are using "GG" as their identifier now...the banners on the stage and Spike's jacket had "G G" in gold on them, no "M F" to be found. It was a typical Gimmes show (I think I've seen them 5 or 6 times now, if not more), with a lot of "SAN FRANCISCO!!!" thrown in for the hometown crowd, plus some Christmas songs and decorations for the season.

(I looked it up last night, and the Gimmes have been going strong since 1995. I stumbled into them right near their start, back in the mid-90s. Damn, I'm old.)

Still love Slim's as a venue. It's just a smidgeon above "dive bar", and it's a great place to see bands. Intimate, big bar, a kitchen, easy parking (though the Costco doesn't open up for non-customer parking until 8:30p, which means a trip back out between openers to pay), and pretty easy to get to for an SF location. It's a hell of a drive from the south end of the valley, though, but good company and good tunes (and a bit of patience) make the drive less painful.

I'd deliberately been buying fewer concert tickets this past year (health (my stupid face) and money-saving reasons), but I don't think that will last another year, heh. We've got a big one coming up in 2020, the Hella Mega Tour with Green Day, Fall Out Boy, and Weezer. Tickets are long-since purchased, got the superduper VIP package for three of us and killer seats right at front center. Should be a blast.

Lots of other stuff has been going on: Heavy rains (finally). Still dealing with the nerve damage. Been doing a lot of exercising and been eating better. Darwin is old (almost sixteen) and has laryngeal paralysis, a liver issue, heart troubles, and just got over a bacterial gut thing (poor old man). Will is kicking ass, though he just had to get his first pair of glasses (as someone who has had to have correction since the fifth grade, it's amazing to me that someone can go so long without needing it. :^) )

Lots of flying, including a trip to Disneyland, random flights with friends, and a fun and random day for Will's birthday (he flew a couple of us to Santa Barbara for brunch, then we spur-of-the-moment decided to hit up Disneyland for churros and Dole Whips ). I can't ride motorcycles much anymore (can't wear a helmet because of the neuralgia), so that's a bummer. We got some electric kick scooters to zoom around on; they fit in the plane, so we can take them with us for sightseeing on some tripes.

So basically life keeps on keeping on. The pain is still an issue, and the extra exercise activity is making it rough. Some days are harder than others, but that could be said about life in general, really. I'm lucky to have good people around me, things to distract, and time to indulge in both...doesn't line up that way very often, so enjoying it while I can.

an unexpected connection

The universe can be weird sometimes.

I was browsing my favorite "weird surplus crap" site (American Science & Surplus, so much awesomeness and randomness) and saw a "Pocket Beating Heart Toy".

It reminded me of a teddy bear my mom had for years...it had a "heart" that made a thumpthump you could feel and hear when you hugged it, and she had that thing for decades, right up to the end. I bought one of the hearts for nostalgia's sake, and it turns out it is the *actual* model used in the bear, same brand, same sound, same thumpthump.

Trippy.

So next I went to eBay, out of curiosity more than anything. Boom, there it was: an original "Heart to Heart Bear", at a great price because it didn't have its own heart (poor thing). No problem, I've got a donor heart all ready to transplant. 💓💓

Now, randomly and unexpectedly, I have a new connection to my past and to my mother, ten years after losing her.

The universe can be weird sometimes.

eBay listing photo,
courtesy of davesstuff0100

(posted here for posterity, originally posted to facebook)

ten years

Ten years since that awful Friday the 13th when I didn't make it home in time. Getting the call while I was still on a connecting flight. Some sweet random woman quietly handing me a tissue as I listened to the voicemail from my sister telling me Mom was gone. The rest of the flights and airports a hazy blur that I don't really remember. Trying to keep Dad going, not wanting to lose him too, not this soon. The next days and months just a vague blob of grey.

I miss you, Mom.

oh look, another catch-up post

I've been really remiss in updating my little virtual diary here. It's part being busy (a fair amount of travel and stuff going on), part dealing with health stuff (mostly the neuralgia and the day-to-day effects it has), and a not insignificant part was just sheer laziness.

So now a big, rambling "Previously, in Stacey's life" post...reader be warned.

<fade out to black>

TITLE CARD: "PREVIOUSLY, IN STACEY'S LIFE..."

<fade in to unassuming blog page>

So, yeah...let's see. The biggest thing has been the addition of two redheads to the Lawton family and the changes they have brought:
 

Our redheads

That's Will's McLaren 675LT Spider, replacing his prior McLaren 12C (we've had the car for a while now, I just totally neglected to post about it). He went through a lot to get it: the local McLaren dealership didn't have a slot available, so he contacted pretty much every dealer in the US. We lucked out and McLaren of Scottsdale (AZ) had a slot available, so that plus our deposit and Utah address meant we were able to get one of the limited cars. It took about eight months from beginning to delivery, with a large part of that being the manufacturing (it was a bespoke configuration, with a lot of customization).

He loves it. McLaren really improved on the 12C: better handling, better electronics, a lift kit (which is amazingly useful when dealing with driveways, bumps, and dips), faster. The convertible top and sexy Volcano Red paint are icing on the cake...it's a fun car.

Peeking out shyly from behind the car is the latest redhead to join the family, our Cirrus SR22T. I never thought we'd ever own our own plane...it's pretty surreal. I really wish my parents could see it. I'd love to share the whole experience with Dad and Mom, I think they'd have gotten a kick out of it all.

The process was all new to us, so it was a mix of exciting, stressful, draining, and interesting. After a few lunches and flights with our sales rep Beth (she's awesome), a deposit, some back and forth about availability (they had more people interested than they had slots available, but Cirrus really came through with a way for everyone to join the Cirrus family), it all began in earnest.

There were three major steps: design, manufacture, and delivery. Each one involved a lot of coordination and a trip to a Cirrus location, and each step gave us some awesome times and amazing memories.


= Design =

We traded emails and some phone calls back and forth with the lead designer Chris; he quizzed us on what we liked, what kinds of things we may already have designed, what colors we preferred. He was really good...he took our conversations, pictures of our cars and motorcycles and Will's skydiving jumpsuit and wingsuits and came up with some preliminary designs. We narrowed those down, and then in April we flew out to Alcoa, TN for a few days to meet with the Cirrus folks in person.

We had no idea what to expect, which might have worked in our favor. Chris (lead designer) and Brooke (Xi Specialist - "Xi" is the Cirrus customization program) met us for dinner and drinks the night before, which was a brilliant move on their part...we all got to know each other in a more casual setting before the in-office meetings the next day.

We clicked with them both right away, and it was an awesome evening. The next day was long but fun...Brooke has an amazing memory for detail, and she picked up on every little thing: what coffee/drinks/sodas we liked, what music we listened to, what food we liked. She had all of those things ready to go, music cued up, sodas waiting, all of which made what could have been a dry, dull, draining day into a fun time filled with laughs and grins.

The end result, after a full day and a few tweaks over the next week or so, was this (well, this is one page of a longer design spec, but you get the idea):

It starts to become real.

= Manufacturing =

We really, really, really wanted to see the Cirrus factory, and Brooke had our backs...she helped arrange a July trip to the factory in Duluth, MN. She even timed it all so we could see our plane being built, which was a rare treat...it's not often that the timing works out that way. She went above and beyond and got us a tour by Julie, the production coordinator at the factory. Julie has been with Cirrus for more than thirteen years and has had a big part in refining and creating the process (and more than a few improvements to the planes themselves). She was a huge encyclopedia of knowledge; we were lucky to get time with her.

Skeletal interior of our plane

We asked everyone involved to sign our
fuselage; this is Julie indulging us

Even better, Brooke flew out and met us in Duluth and spent an awesome week showing us around. She is from the area (her parents still live there), so she had all the insider info. We went hiking by waterfalls, did a walking tour of the seedier history of Duluth (mobsters and prostitutes and murders, oh my), learned about the history of the area and Lake Superior, visited Glensheen Mansion and relaxed by the water. We love Brooke and we are pals to this day (in fact, she met up with us in Seattle a few weeks back...hopefully I'll be more diligent in posting about that trip than I was about these).

Gooseberry Falls with Will and Brooke

Glensheen Mansion (from the bridge below)

Just three goofballs being goofy

Looking out at Lake Superior
(from the bridge below Glensheen)

= Delivery =

Finally, in late August, it was time to see the end result of months and months of planning and work and emails and phone calls and trips and meetings.

Delivery for Cirrus planes is at their headquarters in Alcoa, TN. Cirrus included a stay at a fancypants resort/spa, but we asked if we could save the driving and time and stay at the nearby Hilton instead, and it was worth it...it turned out that the Hilton looked over the airport and the Cirrus hangars (and the guy at the front desk made sure we got a room facing the right way).

View from the Hilton. That's the Cirrus hangar and taxiway,
towards the back in the center.

(We are definitely more "stare out the window at planes" than "hot stone massage and concierge" people. <grin>)

The plane was beautiful. Chris did an incredible job designing it, everything pulled together amazingly (and we made some good choices, if I do say so myself). When you are staring at pictures on a piece of paper, it's hard to truly get an idea of what the end result will be, but it was even better than we'd imagined.

On delivery day, they popped us into a black SUV and drove us into a dark hangar. Then a spotlight, red carpet, music (that Brooke remembered we liked...she's got a crazy memory), and the official hand-off of the keys. N292WS was officially ours.

(The tail number is the "custom license plate" equivalent for a plane: "W" and "S" for Will and Stacey; "292" is 29th of February, our anniversary (the "N" is standard designation for planes registered in the United States). Yeah, we are dorks.)

Tah dah!!

Pristine electronics. It will never be this clean again.

We were super psyched at how the interior turned out.

We added a few of our own touches (Will is a big Disneyland
fan, so we hid a few nods to the Pirates ride here and there).

After wandering all around the plane and going through all the bells and whistles, it was time for the first flight. The weather was gorgeous, our delivery pilot Nick was another very cool person we clicked with, and it was now officially official: We were plane owners.

The weather cooperated beautifully.

The Alcoa area was lovely from the air.

An unexpected surprise: Brooke somehow knew my
birthday was during the trip, so she surprised me with
balloons and cupcakes (and singing). She rocks.

The rest of the week is a blur. We had days of training to familiarize us with the plane: Will had pilot training, I had "partner" training in the simulator (how to deal with emergencies, what buttons did what, and so on). We both had lots of time in classrooms and in the plane with our training pilot, Justin. There were lunches and dinners with our new Cirrus friends and fellow pilots. It was exciting and exhausting, and we still had a long part yet to come: the trip home.


= Back to California =

Cirrus offers ferry service when you buy a plane (they'll deliver your plane from the headquarters to wherever you are), but we chose to fly the plane home ourselves.

We left Tennessee on August 23rd, flew for about six and a half hours, spent the night in Lubbock, Texas, then flew another eight hours (with a stop at the Vegas airport for a bio-break and fuel/oxygen fill-ups) to land the evening off the 25th at SJC (San Jose International). It was a long trip, but there was some incredible scenery along the way.

A massive thunderstorm about twenty miles off our right wing.
We had to make a huge arc to go around it.

Farms. Lots and lots of farms.

Arizona had some breathtaking topography.

You can tell we are nearing the Grand Canyon.

I really do love the world up here.

Safe and sound at SJC

We were tired, we were sweaty (it was **hot** in Vegas), but we were home. An amazing trip with amazing people that left us with amazing memories.

quick catch-up

Saw Imagine Dragons again, this time in Concord. Didn't realize what a long drive it was, not sure I'd do it again (the Bay Area is frickin' huge, it's easy to forget how big it is). The show was awesome...uplifting, joyful, full of dancing and smiles. I will see them pretty much any time they are in the area.

Began the deck repair project. First big contractor/construction project, definitely interesting, definitely painful for the wallet. But looking forward to using the pool without cringing at the stairs getting to it and having a deck that isn't rotting and in danger of collapsing off its pillars.

Will had jury duty. Didn't get onto the jury, but made it a fair ways into the process. He had an interesting epiphany about what "jury of your peers" and "average American" actually mean...it's rare to see the boundaries of your own bubble, and rarer still to acknowledge them and make an effort to expand or at least not be limited by them.

More bad/sad news for my friend...her cancer requires radiation. No chemo, which is good (well, as good as cancer can be), but still sucks. And this turns out to be a new instance, not a recurrence of her prior cancer...another mixed blessing. Fuck cancer.

Darwin has continued on his "six million dollar dog" journey. MRIs to be sure the vestibular issue wasn't actually brain related, all the associated meds, lots of fun, lots of dollars. He's stabilized for now, living his life, so that's a good thing.

Still fighting my own pain crap. No change, this is life, day to day, blah blah blah. Fuck shingles, fuck nerve damage.

Four-day trip to Duluth, Minnesota to prep for the new arrival, the follow-up to an earlier Tennessee trip (can't remember if I wrote about that one). A good friend found, an awesomely productive time mixed with good company. Duluth is quite lovely, and Lake Superior is an impressive body of water.

Another concert: Panic! at the Disco. Holy crap, what an awesome show. Brendon Urie is amazing to watch: He has so much energy, smiles a lot, and puts on a hell of a show. The band on stage with him were having fun as well, bopping and dancing and smiling, and it was contagious...the crowd was also having a blast. Super high energy show with excellent lighting and visuals, big screens behind and above him that were utilized to the full. I'd definitely see them (him) again.

Speaking of concerts, a few more coming up: Fall Out Boy (again), Dirty Heads (in Santa Cruz, should be fun to see them in a small venue. especially with the mesh of their music style and the Santa Cruz vibe), Twenty One Pilots (can't wait for that one, should be epic).

Speaking of the new arrival, the time is just about here...we head out tomorrow. The next week is going to be exhausting, but definitely a new experience. This is something I never thought I'd be experiencing...definitely not what "Stacey Buncak" would have pictured for herself all those years ago. I'll try to be a bit more diligent about updating here once it's all done and life gets back to the new normal...

a sweet surprise

Yesterday started out grumbly. High pain, general bitchiness, frustration at cleaning splattered grease, specific bitchiness (poor Will), just a super sucky morning.

Later in the day, Will comes back from running some errands and makes me cry...good tears this time. He had very stealthily taken my dad's watch (one my dad wore in Vietnam and for many years after) and had it cleaned and repaired.

The day was suddenly less grumbly.