half price is a good thing

The site I order some of my body sprays from [http://www.azaftigwoman.com] is having a half-off sale. Time to stock up on vanilla musk and vanilla nutmeg, and try some new scents [thinking creme brulee, green apple, and chai tea]. It's a dangerous site...candles, lotions, perfumes, body sprays, all in not-your-typical scents. Me gusta.

these are awesome

Want.

http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2293

my new jewelry

Pics of the ring I had made...

(click to see bigger)

speaking of new worlds

Found two large pieces of the Berlin Wall whilst out geocaching today...who knew??

tricorder readings are nominal, captain

Out geocaching today, and cracked myself up when I realized I was essentially a Star Trek landing party: get the readings, circle in to the specific spot, try not to attract too much attention, explore strange new worlds, avoid the alien muggles, observe the area and civilization around me, all while holding a bit of technology out in front of me, scanning the area. I literally laughed out loud [LLOL] when I had to reset my compass, which had me turning slowly in circles, the GPSr in front of me, looking for all the world like a redshirt with a tricorder, scanning the territory for hostile aliens [luckily I made it to the end of the episode, unlike most redshirts].

From now on, I'm not going caching...I'm going startrekking. :^)

floaty

Three Kier Royales later...

sentimental street

Found it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z03Zcq_l_ag

Memories...I saw their "7 Wishes" tour, umpteen years ago, in a different life.

[Giggling at Kelly's outfit...]

memory-go-round

One of my favorite Night Ranger songs [along with "Sentimental Street"...looking for that one now].

a peaceful day

Didn't sleep much last night, but made up for it with a very peaceful day. Got up early to feed the cat, sat with both of them as I read for a while, then got some small things done around the house. Wandered back into bed and read some more; was joined by both cats [one curled up on my chest/arm, the other behind my knees]. As cat owners know, this is a most powerful soporific...who am I to flaunt the wills of the feline overlords?? So yes, a nap ensued, most comfy and comforted. Up a bit later, more small things done, then into the shower...nice, long, gingerbread-scented one, big floofy towel. Been busy working on taking care of some inner conflicts and soothing the heart/mind, and today helped with some body/physical pampering.

Tonight is still up in the air: could be dinner out and a book, with some nice alone time; could be checking in on a sick friend; could be working in a bit of geocaching; could be curling up with some wine, candles, and a movie; could be going out to celebrate a friend-of-a-friend's birthday; or could be nothing at all, giving in to mindless telly and a Lean Cuisine microwave dinner. Any and all have their appeal...

cats just don't understand "weekend"

They still want fed at 6:30 in the morning on Saturdays. Harrumph.

okay, this is better

I'll take any of the three, please. Or all. I'm not picky.

for the love of god, get it out of my head

(by the way, the ugly aspect ratio isn't my fault)

mmm, pizza

Went to do the Palo Alto Moonlight Walk/Run with MyFriendJen tonight...we've done it for the past few years, but this year we just weren't feeling it. Tired, stressed out, it was sprinkling/spitting/raining...meh. We wandered the sponsor tables and got freebies, then headed back to the car and hit Amici's. Pizza, beer, giggles, catching up on our lives, throwing mushrooms at each other, then wandering down to Starbucks for chai and hanging out. Very good time, very much needed.

Tomorrow's primary order of business: sleeping in (if the feline roommates permit it).

eye yai yai...

Chatting online with a friend today when they said "got to go, something's wrong...Emanoel [a former co-worker, I just saw him on Wednesday, in fact] is lying on the floor, on the phone with a nurse." The last I heard, he was being driven to the hospital with a possible detached retina. Hoping everything is okay...sending hopeful vibes his way.

time passes

Ten years ago today was the last time I saw my dear friend Todd. Though we live on opposite coasts, we still keep in touch almost daily...an IM here, an email there, a shared URL or video. He's been a part of my life for sixteen years now, and we've seen each other through all kinds of "interesting" life situations, good, bad, and indifferent. We are definitely not the same people we were back then, and it's been quite the journey for both of us.

Hugs and love, old friend...

make it so...

Twenty years ago today, the first episode of "Star Trek: TNG" aired.

good news for my friend

It's not strep. He's still very sick, very feverish, and pretty much death warmed over [the doctor has told him he needs to quarantine himself for a while], but at least it's not strep.

Feel better, dude. Get much rest 'n' shit... <grin>

ponderings from the past

Just found this one on a private journal I was keeping...it was dated September 2006, long before things like Code Green, going to Vegas with my parents, saying goodbye to Jim, random bits of family drama, bronchitis, sick cats [heck, it was before I even adopted Bean]. I find it just as relevant now as it was a year ago...though I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

<--begin inserted text-->

September 3rd, 2006

I dreamt I was given a choice: forty more years of life as it is right now in this moment, status quo, or two years only, to be filled with joy, love, companionship, confidence, contentment, all guaranteed. A choice between existing and *living*.

And then I awoke. And thought. And pondered. And told myself that I didn't need some nebulous, dreamworld "they" to give me a chance to live, and certainly didn't need "them" to limit it to two years. I can live now, this moment. Go, travel, be, do. Live, love, laugh.

Then reality sank in. It's not that easy. Life is a struggle. It takes money to "go, travel, be, do". To have money, you need a job. But once you have a job, your time is limited, and it's harder to travel and go and do. So you quit the job. And for a while, you are free. Your time is your own, and you are living. But then you worry...you can't go *there* because it costs too much. You can't do *that* because it will eat into your savings. You find yourself doing less, living less, in order to conserve dwindling supplies of cash.

And companionship is hard to find, harder to maintain. That one is too needy too soon. That one has too much history, too much baggage. This one is too self-focused, that one is too far away, and the other one is just too different. You find yourself compromising more and more, just to have someone to spend the time with. Then you pay more of that too-important money to someone who helps you realize that the compromise has to be a mutual venture, and if it isn't, then it's not healthy and you need to move on. But that means that you find yourself alone more than you'd like, and wondering if it's all worth it. "Trust me," says the person-you-are-paying, "it's worth it. When you find it, or it finds you, it will all be worth it. And you'll be doing it on your terms, and their terms, and it will be happy and healthy and wonderful."

Intellectually, you agree. Absolutely, you say. Darn tootin'. And for a while, you feel better, knowing that you are improving yourself, becoming healthier. But time passes, you look around, and you see that others have somebody and you don't. Yeah, sure, that one has somebody because they *always* have somebody...they haven't been without somebody for more than six months at a time. Good for *you*...you aren't with someone just to fill a void. They don't know if they can truly be alone, while you've faced that demon and come through it, knowing you are okay with being alone. But damn it, is it worth it? Is this enlightened self-knowledge really worth it? Ignorance can really be bliss sometimes...trouble is, you can't go back.

So given the choice of forty more years of self-knowledge and the possibility of something better being around the corner, or only two years of living, really living, guaranteed...which would you choose? Take the chance and play the odds of time, or take the sure thing and live those two years for all they were worth?

Not an easy choice...

<--end inserted text-->

oh no...

The friend that I spent all yesterday evening with, from 5pm to 11pm? Yeah...he has strep throat.

Joy.

a very cool pattern

I love the pattern of my walk from the parking garage to work right now. The timing is just right from when I go through the light on Bryant across University, turn into the garage, wind my way up to the fourth floor, park, make my way to the staircase, walk down four floors, down onto the street and head towards University...somehow it all clicks together and I get the walk light on University crossing Bryant. The streak continues as I make my way towards Facebook...my pace seems just right to hit the walk light at every intersection.

Too frickin' cool... :^)

worth fighting for

One of the land mines that was installed during "the dark days" with Greg was a need to have someone in my life that found me worth fighting for. More specifically, someone that followed through when they *said* I was worth fighting for and they wanted me as a part of their lives. The hypocrisy and manipulation were the parts I struggled with...telling me what a priority I was, that they loved me and couldn't picture their lives without me, that I was important to them, only to have their actions not match their words. It has happened three times in my adult life, with my heart invested in each person, only to find that the words were just there to keep me on deck, to keep them from having to truly face the situation and their feelings, to keep their own status quo, and to keep them from having to choose to either make it work or to let me go. Limbo is an unhappy place, especially when it is forced upon you from outside.

With the help of time, introspection, and some outside assistance [thank you, DrBob], I am slowly and painfully learning to recognize when the words are just words, to distance myself and open my eyes to *actions* and the truth that is shown through them. It hurts like hell, because we all want and need to believe that we are important to others; that's what makes it so easy to want to trust the words and not look any deeper. But being played with hurts more in the long run, and is far more damaging to your self-worth and confidence; taking control of your own life and getting yourself out of limbo is hard, but necessary if you want to grow and survive.

This all ties in to the 'reexamine where your energies are going' vibe that I am forcing onto myself currently...look at actions, look at the people who genuinely give and make room for you in their lives, and you'll find the people who are worth keeping room for in your heart. That objectiveness is hard to come by, hard to achieve, and harder to hold on to, because the things you see at that distance are not ones that are easy to look at under the bright light of scrutiny. The trick is learning not to squint...

[But damn it, one of these days there will be someone who feels for me what I feel for them, someone who truly means it when they say they want me in their lives and is willing to follow through and team up with me to make it through these limited days we have on this planet. Mind you, I'm not holding my breath or pining pitifully for that mystery person...the good news is that I am okay being alone, and I like myself and who I am. So while being lonely may suck, and people playing with your heart can hurt like hell, I don't have to compromise my principles or myself just to have someone there when I come home at night. I *want* someone to share the moments with...but I don't *need* someone to be whole. And that is a lesson that was very hard won...]

shit

Big-ass brain monkeys. Drifted off to sleep for a bit, then woke up crying. Can't remember the dream [mercifully, I think], but it left me unsettled. Apparently my head/heart/subconscious have some things they need to work out...

Going to be a rough day at work tomorrow [today]...mask is ready, cue Mr. Roarke: "Smiles, everyone, smiles!!"

so far, so good

The lunch was a lot of fun...the team is awesome, I felt really comfortable with them, and the camaraderie they have is quite obvious. Made me feel really good when they started saying things like "when you start, we'll <blah>" and [to the manager] "will you just hire her already??" My "propaganda pack" [resume, samples of docs/procedures/forms I've pulled together in previous jobs, a choice quote that a previous manager made about me, my "geek for hire" business cards] made a good impression, which was nice to hear. It also made me feel good that I was able to contribute to work-related conversation, and that I could talk to the helpdesk folks, the server guy, and the Linux guy and be comfortable with the varied and various threads. Got a call from the corporate recruiter later in the evening; we are going to talk more tomorrow about benefits, corporate culture, and the like...I'm taking that as a good sign. :^)

Since I was right across the street for lunch, I headed over to Code Green and met up with some of the old gang. Good gods, it was nice seeing them...I've missed them, and don't get to see them near enough. For being there a short time and for the company not being a good fit, I made some really good friends, ones that are worth hanging on to.

Met Lawrence after work, grabbing dinner with him and his kids, catching up, hanging out. Played "zombie" with the incredibly-energetic young ones...they "buried" me with pillows and cushions, then I climbed out of my "grave" as a zombie and chased them around [I was the dreaded "tickling zombie"...mu ha haa haaaa!!!!]. Finally dragged my butt home about 11pm or so, fed the cat, got some stuff done, and am now trying to calm the brain down enough to get some sleep.

[An aside: It's funny...just as I have realized [or allowed myself to realize] that I need to take a look at the relationships in my life and start closing some doors, to make the tough decision not to cling to the ones that I put more into than I get out, some really good friends pop back into view. It makes me appreciate them that much more for their rarity, and hopefully knowing they are there will help make it a little easier when I finally do get the courage and energy to move on from those acquaintances that are just too much pain, drain, or strain to really be good for me.

The hardest part is that all the people around me are good people...but I deserve people in my life that can give *and* take, people for whom I can be there and who can be there for me when we need each other, not just when convenient. I'm damn lucky to have more than one of those true friends...

...and I'm glad I've got them.]

again with the luck wishes, please

The interviewing continues...second round tomorrow, meeting the rest of the IT team. Should be a fun time...it's a lunch gathering at Mexicali Grill [mmmm, enchiladas mariscos]. Wish me luck!

brain monkeys

Lying here with two sleeping cats and a wide-awake brain, listening to mp3s (just played: Saw Doctors, "Share the Darkness"; now playing: Icehouse, "Great Southern Land") and playing solitaire on my phone.

On the plus side, I've still got three hours to get some sleep. On the negative side, I've only got three hours to get some sleep...

(Now playing: Weird Al Yankovic, "You're Pitiful")

wtf??

Target has Christmas stuff out already.

a moment of...

Marcel Marceau has died at age 84. I can't help wondering...do you have a moment of cacophony to show respect when a mime dies?

the best laid plans

Last night didn't quite go as planned, but ended up being a good time. Susy and I made it to the city with no problem [navigating with my GPS...fun!]. It took us about 20 minutes to park [typical for SF], but we ended up with a good spot. Make our way to the club to see a huge line of people waiting for tickets.

Whoops.

We get in line and decide to take our chances, chatting, catching up, laughing, snickering at the whiny girls behind us, passing the time. Got a surprise when Rod showed up unexpectedly [wasn't until I got home that I saw he had sent me a text message saying he was coming...that will teach me to leave my phone behind :^) ]. We hung out, talked about movies [see "Shoot 'Em Up"!], moved a few feet, chatted some more, moved a few feet more, made it around the corner, box office in sight...

...and heard the door guy telling us that the show was now sold out. Whoops again.

But we rolled with it, walked down Columbus to find a place to eat that didn't require an hour wait. Walked past Cobb's Comedy Club, saw that we'd missed the first show by 20 minutes, but the next show was at 10:15p. Asked the woman at the door if we should buy tickets now, she said not to worry...go eat first, come back, no problems. So away we walked, looking for sustenance.

We ended up at a place that I can't remember the name of [Susy? Moviestar? Do you remember?]. They had good food at surprisingly decent prices, with immediate seating [they only accepted cash, so we figure that had something to do with the lack of a waiting list]. Some pretty good bread, wine, and extremely yummy spaghetti carbonara later [mmmm....], we headed back towards Cobb's, take-out container in hand. Walking, chatting, people watching...Rod jokingly says, "Umm, what if the comedy club is sold out?" We laugh, keep walking, and then Susy very nonchalantly says, "Uh, guys, take a look in front of us..."

Yup. Big-ass line wrapping around the corner from the comedy club. We laughed our hinders off, got in line, and thought it would actually be frickin' hilarious if *this* one was sold out too. Didn't have to worry...Rod headed up and got tickets while we held our space, and we ended up with pretty good seats right in the middle...not too close, not too far back.

The show was pretty good: host was Steve Schirripa [Bobby from the Sopranos], there was the obligatory dumbass in the back, a very funny female comedian who smacked the dumbass down quite handily, an amusing local guy, a not-quite-as-amusing-but-had-his-moments other guy. SteveTheHost [aka TheGuyFromTheSopranos] showed hilarious videos between performers called "Steve the Judgmental Bastard", where he would walk the streets of New York and make predictions about someone walking towards him ["She's single, she has a tattoo, and she's had sex this weekend."]. He then interviewed the person to see how close he got. The best part was seeing him crack himself up...some of the answers he got were quite funny, and he was genuinely enjoying himself.

So a good time was had, in spite of the evening going nothing like we had planned. Good weather, good food, good company...can't ask for much more.

rock you like a hurricane

A good few days. The interview was a lot of fun; I go back for a second round to meet the team this coming week. Talked with IT at Facebook, submitted my resume there; got a very nice compliment from a co-worker. Chatted online with my nephew, which was awesome. Caught up with a friend last night, ended up talking on the phone for over four hours [!!]...talked about anything, everything, work, life, how his knee is healing, loneliness versus being alone, movies, music, phrases that sneak into your lexicon at the end of the day when you don't want them to 'n' shit, traded URLs and hilarious pics, talked about gods know what else.

Got to chat online with my Dad this morning, which is a wonderful thing [even if he won't give me any career advice]. Today is going to be getting out and about [ootnaboot] and enjoying the grey, rainy weather [happyhappyhappy!], then up to TheCity(tm) with TheSusy(c) to see Tainted Love [yes, again. shush. it's fun. wanna go?? meet us at Bimbo's 365 Club, doors are at 8p, show is at 9p...be sure to flip your polo collar up, baby! tonight we're going to party like it's 1999!!!].

yay!

And lightning! Cool!!

rrruuuuUUUMMMMmmmmbbblle

Thunder. Glee!!

pretending

comfortableness

Bunny feet pajamas, raspberry cocoa, warm blanket, a book...not a bad way to spend an evening.

wish me luck

Interview tomorrow. Propaganda packs all pulled together, "Stacey Gladman: Geek for Hire" cards printed, directions printed out, "See you tomorrow" email sent [and acknowledged], page of references typed up [thanks, you guys!!]. Crossing my fingers...I really like the vibe so far, and the job sounds like exactly what I'm looking for.

in honor of the day

Wearing my "Pirate Princess" shirt [skulls with crowns and scepters], skull bracelets, skull earrings, and to top it all off, the skull pendant my dad gave me [complete with peridot gems in the eye sockets].

Yaarrrrr!!!!

arrrrr!!

Today be talk like a pirrrrate day!! Aaarrrrrr!!!

i love the bay area

There is a severe weather alert for the middle to end of this week. Because it might rain.

Seriously. See?

...LATE SUMMER RAINFALL POSSIBLE DURING THE SECOND HALF OF THE WEEK...

AUTUMN DOES NOT OFFICIALLY BEGIN UNTIL SUNDAY MORNING. DURING THE REMAINING DAYS OF SUMMER AN UNSEASONABLY STRONG WEATHER SYSTEM ORIGINATING IN WESTERN CANADA WILL PRODUCE WEATHER CONDITIONS ACROSS THE SAN FRANCISCO AND MONTEREY BAY AREAS THAT WILL BE MORE TYPICAL OF LATE FALL THAN LATE SUMMER.

A DEEP UPPER LEVEL LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM IS FORECAST TO MOVE SOUTH INTO NORTHERN CALIFORNIA ON WEDNESDAY. GUSTY WEST TO NORTHWEST WINDS WILL DEVELOP ON WEDNESDAY AND TEMPERATURES WILL COOL TO LEVELS WELL BELOW NORMAL...ESPECIALLY ACROSS INLAND AREAS. THIS WEATHER SYSTEM IS EXPECTED TO BE RATHER DRY...BUT THERE IS A CHANCE THAT SHOWERS AND ISOLATED THUNDERSTORMS WILL DEVELOP IN THE NORTH BAY LATE ON WEDNESDAY. BY WEDNESDAY NIGHT...SHOWER AND THUNDERSTORM CHANCES WILL SPREAD SOUTH THROUGH THE REMAINDER OF THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA AND INTO THE MONTEREY BAY AREA. BRISK WESTERLY WINDS WILL CONTINUE ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT.

THE LOW WILL CONTINUE TO MOVE SOUTH AND BY THURSDAY AND FRIDAY RAIN CHANCES WILL BE HIGHEST OVER THE SOUTHERN PORTION OF OUR FORECAST AREA. COOLER THAN NORMAL WEATHER WILL CONTINUE ACROSS THE ENTIRE REGION. THE WEATHER SYSTEM IS FORECAST TO MOVE OFF TO THE EAST BY SATURDAY AND TEMPERATURES WILL BEGIN TO WARM OVER THE UPCOMING WEEKEND.

letting go

A few years ago, I had to make the tough decision to let a twenty-plus year friendship go. It was incredibly hard; I agonized about it for far too long, and needed some help to work it out and figure out why I was so conflicted. I finally came to the realization that I was clinging to the ideal of what the friendship was, and glossing over the less-beneficial aspects of it. Long story short, I was putting more into it than I was getting out of it.

It was an important lesson to learn, and it's one that has been on my mind these past few months. I am realizing that I need to take inventory of my life, my relationships, my priorities...distance myself from them for a bit, look at them as objectively as I can, see if the reality measures up to the dream. Nothing drastic or dramatic; just figuring out what my priorities are and try to keep from pouring myself into buckets that are bigger than they should be. Time to pull back, reset my own expectations and limits, focus on what matters to me. It's not going to be easy, and it's not going to be quick, but it needs to be done.

To quote a sage: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run."

whoo hoo!

Pumpkin spice lattes are back...yum.

speaking of cats...

Bean is doing better. The problem: hairballs, which caused a bit of constipation [glamorous, no?]. Seems like the warm weather of the past month made her shed more; and since she has lost weight and is getting a bit more limber, she can clean herself better. Combine the two, and tah-dah! Hairballs!

Ah, the glamorous world of cats...

sitting on cats

Spent the weekend cat-sitting for a friend while she was off getting married [congrats!!]. A nice weekend...time with her cats, relaxing in her back yard, wandering over to the Santa Clara Art & Wine Festival. Today was productive, getting laundry done, grocery shopping, straightening up.

Kicking back for a bit with a book...it's a perfect afternoon for it.

and the hilarity continues

Go to http://josgrain.com/ and spend some time going through the links. Humour abounds.

frickin' hilarious

Iggy Pop's concert rider, written by his roadie Jos Grain...too effing funny:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/iggypop/iggypop1.html

Well worth the 18-page read...

rude awakening

Woke up to Bean licking my nose with her sandpaper tongue...

a wish fulfilled

For years, I have wanted to have a ring made for myself...a simple silver ring with "life is short" engraved on it. I wanted it as a reminder of how fleeting life is, to make the most of the moments you have, to find contentment where you can and make it happen if you don't have it. Another interpretation that I like is that everything changes, everything ends...good things can end, so cherish them, and bad things end too, so have faith in yourself and you'll come through the other side.

This weekend, I found an artist at the Mountain View Art & Wine Festival that makes custom rings, and I finally made it happen. With big thanks to Janet Wight of "Jewelry for the Soul" [http://www.jewelryforthesoul.com], I now have a very awesome silver band with "...life is short..." on the outside, and "be content" on the inside [see my earlier blog entry for why that is meaningful to me].

I'll try to get a picture that does justice to it. In the meantime, check out Janet's site...the fortune necklaces are especially cool.

[Update: She is going to be at the Santa Clara Art & Wine Festival this weekend.]

[Update^2: Finally got the pics posted!]

over-the-top awesomeness

"Shoot 'Em Up" kicked ass. A violent, humorous, way over-the-top, dark, non-stop, not-for-everyone 80-minute thrill ride. And Clive Owen is awesome-sauce.

I will never look at organic carrots the same way again.

ways in which stacey is a freak [part 3 in an infinite series]

She eschews chick flicks and sees "Shoot 'Em Up" instead.

bean watch, day 2

She seems a bit better...she's acting more like her normal self, walking better, falling down less. She's eating well, used the litter pan [though not easily, which is why I'm concerned]. Keeping an eye on her, vet's number is right on hand just in case...

vroom!

New battery did the trick, though going to be cautious for a few days to be sure that there wasn't an underlying issue that contributed to the battery troubles. Can't say enough about East Bay MINI in Pleasanton...great folks, took good care of me, and best of all, their parts and service department is open on Saturday. Halle-frickin-lujah.

A very cool thing: got a call from my friend Susy this afternoon while I was in the middle of everything...she had seen the blog entries, and called to see how everything was going and to offer one of their cars if I needed it. Got text messages and email from a couple other friends, checking in and sending sympathies. You know, just when I am getting frustrated and start swearing at the universe, I get these little smacks upside the head reminding me that I have got some incredibly good people in my life. It's rare to find people that give to you as much as [even more than] you give to them, true friends that make it possible for you to ask for help by simply not waiting for you to ask for it. I'm very lucky to have found a few of those...

More updates:

Bean seems a little better [she's not crying as much, and is walking a little easier], but still not 100%, so need to keep a close eye on her. Have this awful feeling there is going to be a midnight trip to the emergency vet tonight..I really, really want to be wrong about that.

The bronchitis is getting better [to repeat: halle-frickin-lujah]. Voice still cracks like an adolescent boy, but a little more air is getting through and I'm coughing less. Need to keep medicating and take it easy to give my lungs a chance to bounce back.

Missing a champagne dinner in the city for a friend's birthday because of all the drama...though with the unexpected expenses, I couldn't have afforded the drive and the dinner anyway, so I guess it's a mixed blessing.

And now it's time to take my medication, check on Bean, and get some stuff done that had to be pushed aside while I was zooming my way to and from Pleasanton.

Thanks for the good vibes, everyone...sending hugs back at you.

sigh, cry, moan, groan, grumble

AAA made it out in about half an hour, nice guy, great service from Ellison Towing. However...

...the battery for my car is dealer-specific [the way the battery is clamped down means the top is molded very specifically]. Okay, we jumped the car, got it started so I could take it to the dealer. However...

...the parts and service department is closed on the weekends. The nice woman at the dealership gave me the MINI roadside assistance number. However...

...the very nice woman on the other end of the phone told me that most California MINI dealership parts and service departments were closed on weekends, that I would have to contact my dealer on Monday. However [and this one is good, finally]...

...she called around, found a dealership in Pleasanton that was open, stayed on hold with them to be sure they had the part, and told them I was coming. She gave me the address, so while we were on hold, I printed directions...so now I'm heading out the door [the car has been running this whole time, since there is no frickin' way I'm turning it off].

Cross your fingers that there isn't another "however" in the story...

clickety click

Confirmed. Battery is dead. Tackling that task now.

worry

Bean is hurting. She is meowing a lot, and her hind legs aren't working very well...she's wobbling more, and she's falling down. Giving her meds now, and gave a bit of pain medication along with them to give her some relief. She's moving around, following me from room to room, so she's not totally incapacitated, but it's still not normal.

So now I really need to get the car working, in case I have to take her to the vet. Sigh. Just as I get a job, all these expenses pop up: the parking ticket, a new battery, getting stiffed on a concert ticket, the bronchitis and related expenditures, and of course it's also when bills like renter's insurance and car registration come due. Luckily I always try to pad for emergencies, but it would be really nice if they didn't cluster like this.

Going to go check on Bean, get showered and dressed, give a last 'pleasepleaseplease' try at starting the car, then call AAA. And put the sacrificial blanket on the bed, just in case poor Bean keeps hurting.

well, of course

Car won't start again. Glee.

click click click sigh

Left work, excited to spend an evening with MyFriendJen at the Celebrity Forum lecture tonight. Call her on the way to my car: "Hey, since I'm parked two blocks from your place, want to meet there, catch up, grab some dinner before the lecture?" Get in car, turn key...

...click click click click.

Dead battery. Dead dead, shuffled off this mortal coil, nailed to the perch. Bleedin' demised.

Call Jen, let her know I can't make it. I look for my State Farm 'roadside assistance' info...what's this?? The roadside assistance code isn't on my insurance card...but I'm pretty sure that I have the coverage. Hmmm....call agent, leave message asking her to confirm that I have it.

Call AAA. "Hi, I'm Alex. Oh, I see a Stacey Gladman in our system, but I'm afraid your membership expired." Doh. But very, very, VERY nice AAAlex looks up a local towing company for me on Yahoo and gives me the number [that was some incredibly cool customer service...thank you, AAAlex].

Call MyFriendJen to let her know, and she offers her AAA card. She comes by [since I'm only two blocks away], calls AAA for my car, and then hangs out with me while we wait. And she even brought me chocolates [my birthday present...extremely yummy Godiva choccies].

[Have I mentioned how much MyFriendJen rocks?? It's worth repeating.]

Car started with a simple jump [hurrah], but turns out I'm in the sixth year of a four-year battery, so need to replace it, don't trust it, et cetera. Had to keep car running for half an hour or so to let the battery charge, which meant I couldn't make the lecture [darn it!!], since I would be late, and I wouldn't trust the battery afterwards anyway.

Puttered around for a while, sending positive thoughts to the battery. Made sure to park on the street and not in the garage, just in case it doesn't start up again. Tomorrow will be the necessary chores of trying to start car, calling dealership to get car in as soon as possible, dealing with car if it doesn't start, and all that fun stuff. Oh yeah...and renewing AAA.

Now to get some dinner, then most likely go out and see if car starts [out of sick curiosity], then come back in and catch up on life around the house, medicate the bronchitis [still there, but not coughing as much, which is a truly wonderful thing], and then sit down to breathe for a bit [as much as my congested lungs will let me, of course].

Isn't being a grown-up *fun* sometimes?? :^p

stupid stacey

Whoops. Didn't see the 2-hour parking limit sign, got a Palo Alto parking ticket. Whee.

Parking in Palo Alto for the day is annoying...everything close to work is a color-coded 2-hour zone [and that's a daily limit, so you can't just move your car to another spot in the same color zone]. Most of us end up parking 5-6 blocks away, on residential streets, and even then it's tough to find a spot with so many people vying for them. And walking from/to the car to/from the office is fine when the weather is nice, but once it starts raining, I'm sure it will get annoying.

Looks like I'll have to look into buying a parking permit...

lung update

Voice is a bit more audible, though I now sound like a Florida retiree who has been smoking 4 packs a day for 40 years ["So I says to Gertrude, he's a BUM! A no-goodnik!" <draws deep drag on cigarette, then waves it around expressively, gesticulating wildly at Gertrude> ].

The flip side is that there is a bit less air coming through [lungs are constricted], so while I have more bass, there is less volume. But you know what? It's a change, it's different, and I choose to see it as progress...I'll beat this thing yet!!

productiveness

Still coughing, voice was mostly gone for most of the day, though some relaxing at home after work brought it back for a bit. Made some time to kick back, stay in the moment, not worry about anything but what was right in front of me...amazing what a difference that made. I took advantage of it and got some grocery shopping done, then followed up with some domestic chores when I got home: putting groceries away, cleaning out fridge, doing dishes, taking out trash and recycling, feeding the cat, putting away random things that were lying about, packaging up some goodies to get mailed out to loved ones, pulling together stuff for work tomorrow.

Now to medicate and try to get some rest...

a sweet quote

Watching 'Bones' tonight, and one character said to the other [while proposing]: "I believe that if two people care enough about each other, the rest of the world disappears when they are together."

I like that. I'd like to find that...

4am

cough.

cough cough cough.

coughcoughcoughCOUGHcoughcoughcough.

coooouuuggghhhhh.

<grumble>

speaking of the past...

Today (whoops..."yesterday" now) would have been our 17th anniversary.

Even though I miss those more innocent times, I can be honest enough with myself now to admit that I wasn't happy. *We* weren't happy. But it was easier to keep moving, keep going, heads down, blinders on...

...until finally the balance tipped and we overcame the fear and inertia and we broke free. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I was scared. Yes, I fought to keep things status quo for far too long, at what ended up being a very high price. And oh yes, I was afraid to leap into the unknown.

But to paraphrase Neil Gaiman: sometimes when you fall off a cliff...

...you end up flying.

pluses and minuses

Spent part of tonight chatting online with a long-time friend, talking about times past, present life, and what the future might bring. He knew me as I was before, years before I had to rebuild, and loved me as I was...then saw me as I changed, grew, grew up, became who I am now, and loves me as I am.

It was a bittersweet conversation, as we relived heartache past, decisions made, paths not taken. I realized that while I like who I am now, I hate that it came at the cost of innocence and naivete. Talk about pros and cons...I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't gone through everything I had, but then I wouldn't have some of these buttons, landmines, and traps that came with those experiences. We talked regrets, pain, woulda/coulda/shouldas, hindsight...you know, just the light and frivolous stuff <chuckle>.

He and I don't get a chance to talk like this much anymore...it was nice. It's been years since we've seen each other, and I'm not sure if he would recognize the person I've grown into...

...but then I realize that somehow, he seemed to always see a bit of that person in me, even back then.

liquid lung

Or, as MyFriendJen calls it, lung butter. Yes, the bronchitis is now past the dry, hacking cough stage and into the disgusting, juicy, deep, hacking, phlegmy coughs. And fever. And little sleep. And aches. And the voice that goes from sultry Kathleen Turner to squeaky Minnie Mouse to scary Bea Arthur, with no warning in between. Fun!

I love that the descriptions for cough medicines talk about making more "productive" coughs. As if your coughs had just been lollygagging around, goldbricking on company time, futzing about...but now, with new patented CoffMore(tm), you can get those lazy good-for-nothings off their keesters and make them start producing!! Expectorants for all, huzzah!!

Off to medicate and get those coughs producing...hup, two, three, four, hup, two, three, four, move it, move it, MOVE IT!!!

fun with fever dreams

Fever dreams are very, very strange...then when you add medication, the brain of a geek, not having eaten for 16 hours, and no air-conditioning on a 90+ degree day, you get a weird landscape of gaming, hiking, installing a 24" flat-panel monitor, upgrading a computer, sex, finding a GPS unit [and using it to navigate the gaming world], fajitas and chicken philly cheesesteaks, showing off the new 24" monitor to fellow geeks, plus other stuff that maybe it's better I don't remember.

I need stronger meds. Or maybe no meds. Sheesh.