a sweet quote

Watching 'Bones' tonight, and one character said to the other [while proposing]: "I believe that if two people care enough about each other, the rest of the world disappears when they are together."

I like that. I'd like to find that...

4am

cough.

cough cough cough.

coughcoughcoughCOUGHcoughcoughcough.

coooouuuggghhhhh.

<grumble>

speaking of the past...

Today (whoops..."yesterday" now) would have been our 17th anniversary.

Even though I miss those more innocent times, I can be honest enough with myself now to admit that I wasn't happy. *We* weren't happy. But it was easier to keep moving, keep going, heads down, blinders on...

...until finally the balance tipped and we overcame the fear and inertia and we broke free. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I was scared. Yes, I fought to keep things status quo for far too long, at what ended up being a very high price. And oh yes, I was afraid to leap into the unknown.

But to paraphrase Neil Gaiman: sometimes when you fall off a cliff...

...you end up flying.

pluses and minuses

Spent part of tonight chatting online with a long-time friend, talking about times past, present life, and what the future might bring. He knew me as I was before, years before I had to rebuild, and loved me as I was...then saw me as I changed, grew, grew up, became who I am now, and loves me as I am.

It was a bittersweet conversation, as we relived heartache past, decisions made, paths not taken. I realized that while I like who I am now, I hate that it came at the cost of innocence and naivete. Talk about pros and cons...I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't gone through everything I had, but then I wouldn't have some of these buttons, landmines, and traps that came with those experiences. We talked regrets, pain, woulda/coulda/shouldas, hindsight...you know, just the light and frivolous stuff <chuckle>.

He and I don't get a chance to talk like this much anymore...it was nice. It's been years since we've seen each other, and I'm not sure if he would recognize the person I've grown into...

...but then I realize that somehow, he seemed to always see a bit of that person in me, even back then.

liquid lung

Or, as MyFriendJen calls it, lung butter. Yes, the bronchitis is now past the dry, hacking cough stage and into the disgusting, juicy, deep, hacking, phlegmy coughs. And fever. And little sleep. And aches. And the voice that goes from sultry Kathleen Turner to squeaky Minnie Mouse to scary Bea Arthur, with no warning in between. Fun!

I love that the descriptions for cough medicines talk about making more "productive" coughs. As if your coughs had just been lollygagging around, goldbricking on company time, futzing about...but now, with new patented CoffMore(tm), you can get those lazy good-for-nothings off their keesters and make them start producing!! Expectorants for all, huzzah!!

Off to medicate and get those coughs producing...hup, two, three, four, hup, two, three, four, move it, move it, MOVE IT!!!

fun with fever dreams

Fever dreams are very, very strange...then when you add medication, the brain of a geek, not having eaten for 16 hours, and no air-conditioning on a 90+ degree day, you get a weird landscape of gaming, hiking, installing a 24" flat-panel monitor, upgrading a computer, sex, finding a GPS unit [and using it to navigate the gaming world], fajitas and chicken philly cheesesteaks, showing off the new 24" monitor to fellow geeks, plus other stuff that maybe it's better I don't remember.

I need stronger meds. Or maybe no meds. Sheesh.

lame. lame lame lame.

Bronchitis. Just when I started the contract job.

Lame.

my brain is trying to escape my skull

In the grips of a nasty headache that has me laid out flat, ice pack on neck, cool cloth on forehead. Really need to eat, but not much in the mood.

It's times like this that I really wish cats could return the 'feeding and caretaking' favor...though they would probably bring me mice or spiders or small gooshy bits of unidentifiable meatlike brown chunks.

So maybe I'm better off... :^)

well *that* wakes you up in a hurry

There are some sounds that will penetrate a deep sleep and bring you awake almost immediately: the phone ringing, a child crying, a knock at the door...

...and the "huhgurk, huhgurk, huhgurk, guhblerp!" of a cat horking on your bed at four in the morning.

<sigh>

whew...

Busy weekend, but a good one. And today I'm off to see a man about a contract job...wish me luck.