pluses and minuses

Spent part of tonight chatting online with a long-time friend, talking about times past, present life, and what the future might bring. He knew me as I was before, years before I had to rebuild, and loved me as I was...then saw me as I changed, grew, grew up, became who I am now, and loves me as I am.

It was a bittersweet conversation, as we relived heartache past, decisions made, paths not taken. I realized that while I like who I am now, I hate that it came at the cost of innocence and naivete. Talk about pros and cons...I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't gone through everything I had, but then I wouldn't have some of these buttons, landmines, and traps that came with those experiences. We talked regrets, pain, woulda/coulda/shouldas, hindsight...you know, just the light and frivolous stuff <chuckle>.

He and I don't get a chance to talk like this much anymore...it was nice. It's been years since we've seen each other, and I'm not sure if he would recognize the person I've grown into...

...but then I realize that somehow, he seemed to always see a bit of that person in me, even back then.