inspiring

As someone who stuttered as a kid and still does when stressed, tired, or in pain, it's incredible to see someone work through and manage theirs in front of the country and the world.

(President Biden has stuttered since childhood.)

bridges

As long as I'm taking a stand and burning some bridges, here is something that has been in my Drafts folder for ages. I kept hoping I wouldn't be pushed to post it, but after yesterday, and after months of seeing those who I thought were good people not giving a shit about their fellow humans being hurt, being mistreated, getting sick, and dying, I guess it's (past) time.

-----

I'm done. To hell with anyone reading this who still stands behind this bullshit, who refuses to condemn the fear, hatred, and violence that are openly being embraced and celebrated. Friend, family, acquaintance, I can't care any more...I'm done telling myself that it's not who you truly are and that you are a good person at your core, especially when I'm being told directly and indirectly that I'm dumb and a sucker for caring about other people, for wanting everyone to be able to live their best lives.

I will always err on the side of compassion and caring. If people are getting killed because of the color of their skin, I care. If children are being imprisoned in camps or shot in their schools, I care. If wearing a mask means someone else might not get sick, I wear the mask. If I have to pay more in taxes for better schooling for kids that aren't mine, I pay the taxes (and frequently vote to increase those taxes). If someone else has the chance to marry the person they love, the same way I do, I fight for them. I try to live my life with empathy, respect, and an awareness of my place in the greater whole. I will go to my deathbed knowing that I did my damnedest to treat everyone well, regardless of where they live, who they love, what race they are, how much money they have, what gods they do or don't believe in. But it's a two-way street, and I refuse to blindly give compassion to those who have none to spare.

So if you are reading this and are feeling attacked or insulted, then you aren't the person I thought you were. And you obviously don't know me well if you think I am okay with any of this. I'm guessing we are better off without each other, because this is something that can't be compromised on. 

I only hope you never need the compassion that you are so willing to withhold from others. And I truly hope you understand how much it took to get me to this point, because my entire life has been spent mediating, counseling, sucking it up, and not making waves.

But I'm done.

no more

Armed insurgents storm the Capitol to overthrow the constitutionally-elected government. This is a coup. 

If you are cheering this, you are not a patriot. You are not fighting for anything other than your own status quo. You can not hide behind the Constitution, you can not claim you want law and order. You have been played and used by people who are profiting off of your efforts, and still you support them. You have willingly chosen to remain ignorant, to ignore and downplay anything that might challenge your bubble, to turn a blind eye to the hypocrisy and manipulation. 

If you are still supporting this, after everything that has happened, after the deaths and lies and damage that has been done, you are not someone I can trust. You are not someone I can respect. I've avoided this for too long. I've made excuses, I've said "but they are good people otherwise". I've walked the line and tried not to offend, not to alienate. 

No more.

another day

I know we are all desperate for 2020 to be over. It's not an exaggeration to say this has been a year unlike most others, and we are glad to see the end of it. But the hard truth is that tomorrow is just another day, one that will bring thousands of illnesses, hundreds of deaths, and too many people struggling to work, to pay bills, to stay healthy in body, mind, and soul.

We have hope. We have faith. There truly is light ahead, if we can stay focused, stay empathetic, stay caring. But the odometer rolling into a new year isn't going to be a magic wand, bringing a Hollywood-style dissolve into a glorious new tomorrow, so it's important to go easy on yourself and not put that kind of pressure on you and on the flip of a calendar page.

Be safe, be smart, be kind to yourself and to others. May we have many more new years to come. ♥️

a treasured memory

One of my dearest memories, from a Christmas not too long before my mom died:

I was in Ohio, visiting Mom and Dad for the holidays. Christmas Eve, cocoa, popcorn, music, contentment. I mentioned the "NORAD tracks Santa" thing...they hadn't heard of it, so we rushed to the computer and hit up www.noradsanta.org to see where Santa was.

Mom saw the toll-free number and gave it a call, expecting an automated "Santa is now crossing the Sahara desert" or something. Nope. Live person.

"Merry Christmas!! This is <PersonName>, a <Rank> here at NORAD, helping Santa out this Christmas Eve."

Mom panicked and hung up. Dad and I were crying, we were laughing so hard.

"What?? I wasn't expecting an actual person!!"

Once we got ourselves under control, we called back, this time on speakerphone. The woman on the other end was awesome. "What's your name, little girl?" <heavy giggles from the three of us> "Where do you live?" "Ah, Trinway, Ohio...let me see...looks like Santa should be visiting your house around 2am, so be sure to be tucked up in bed and fast asleep before then, okay?"

She never broke character. "Santa is so busy that we volunteered to help him out and let people know where he was, that way he could concentrate on getting the presents to all the good girls and boys. It's an amazing honor."

After thanking her for the fun, we hung up and sat there giggling, talking, watching the website, and just enjoying being together.

It was one of my favorite and best Christmases.

my guiding principle

I can still hear my dad saying it: “Life is short, kiddo. You’ve got to enjoy it while you can.”

love to the family

A sad goodbye to my Aunt Judy. She and Uncle Donnie were always there for me, from when I was little, to when they lived down the block, and even long after I'd moved across the country.

I will miss her.

inspiring

The first woman to serve in the White House. What an amazing message to send to girls (and boys) everywhere.

wow

 Not something I expected to see from this source.

happy halloween, everyone

Here's hoping the next one is a bit closer to normal (the old normal, not the new normal).