lame. lame lame lame.

Bronchitis. Just when I started the contract job.

Lame.

my brain is trying to escape my skull

In the grips of a nasty headache that has me laid out flat, ice pack on neck, cool cloth on forehead. Really need to eat, but not much in the mood.

It's times like this that I really wish cats could return the 'feeding and caretaking' favor...though they would probably bring me mice or spiders or small gooshy bits of unidentifiable meatlike brown chunks.

So maybe I'm better off... :^)

well *that* wakes you up in a hurry

There are some sounds that will penetrate a deep sleep and bring you awake almost immediately: the phone ringing, a child crying, a knock at the door...

...and the "huhgurk, huhgurk, huhgurk, guhblerp!" of a cat horking on your bed at four in the morning.

<sigh>

whew...

Busy weekend, but a good one. And today I'm off to see a man about a contract job...wish me luck.

tainted love, whoa-oh-oh-oh, tainted love

Saw 'Tainted Love' at the Little Fox with Susy and Lucinda tonight [okay, 'last night' technically, since it's 1am]. Dinner at Pizza 'n' Pipes [though since there are no pipes, it's just "Pizza 'n'"], then over to the venue. Excellent crowd tonight, all totally and shamelessly into the 80s vibe. A few of "those" people, the annoying ones that feel the need to swing dance in a packed crowd or who pogo and jump right onto your right big toe [ow...it's still throbbing a bit], but overall a lot of fun.

The band was awesome, as always. A few 'meh' songs [they really shouldn't attempt anything with a reggae beat, I have decided], and the keyboardist [different from the last time I saw them] wasn't so good...he was okay on some songs, but on others he was just distracting. But the vocalists were all dead on, with some serious pipes [not to be confused with Pizza 'n']. A good time was had by all...

Now to feed the poor patient kitty, pay some attention to the other one that has claimed my lap and has the entire front half of his body draped over my right arm [you should see the typos I'm having to correct...it's hard to type with half a cat on your arm], and then crawl into bed.

Thanks for an awesome night, Susy and Lucinda!!

more hitch hiking fun...

Watching the production notes for the BBC version of "Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy"...it's like Pop Up Videos, without the annoying <guh-bloop> sound. :^)

because i can...

Breakfast: leftovers

Lunch: leftovers

Dinner: Safeway slab o' carrot cake and a big glass of milk

Me: smiling

my gift to myself

A day of doing pretty much nothing. Puttered around, did some dishes, read [finished two more Heinlein books, one a collection of stories, the other "Puppet Masters", which I hadn't read in decades], kept watching "Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy", chatted with some friends, took a nap, got dressed around 4p, went out for a bit and ran some errands. Tonight is stretching out the day as much as I can...more reading, maybe pop in a movie [Neverwhere? Real Genius? Top Secret? Some Black Adder? Blazing Saddles? Decisions, decisions...].

<contented sigh>

my friends are awesome-sauce

Today rocked. Birthday greetings from my parents and sister [love you guys!], and a barrage of emails, text messages, phone calls, cards, IMs, thoughtful gifts [you really know me...so cool] and even being serenaded. A yummy lunch, indulgent sundae [extra chocolate on the bottom, thank you very much!], wandering and window shopping, equally yummy dinner [whoof, ate too much...and I still have leftovers, yay!], a long foofy bath [mmm, butterscotch toffee bubbles] with candles and a bit of wine, and then relaxing in the dark in a comfy shirt with tasty flavored cocoa whilst watching the original BBC version of "Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy". <contented sigh>

This has been one of the best birthdays ever...sending love, thanks, and hugs to my peeps. You rock.

yay!

Brent and Jade are engaged...finally!! [and welcome back, Scott... sympathies and a heavy sigh for what you've been going through...]

Please visit PVP to see the whole storyline...it's a true geek romance. :^)

helpful bean

I had left in the middle of emptying the dishwasher in order to call about the fraudulent charge on my phone bill [priorities, you know]. When I came back, I saw that Bean had decided to help me out:

Nice of her, don't you think?? :^)

watch out for "Residential Email" fraud

You know how I said the telemarketers are claiming I actually requested that they call me? They may be right...not that I personally requested it, but that *somebody* is using my name and information to request information.

Just got my phone bill, and wondered why it was more than usual. Found a charge for $14.95 + $0.75 fees/taxes on the very last page, charged "as a service to the company identified above". That company? ESBI, Enhanced Services Billing Inc., on behalf of "Residential Email, LLC".

Call up the ESBI number provided on the bill, get a message saying they are "transferring me to the provider of the services". Spoke to Jane [supervisor name is Riva], and when I questioned the charge, she started giving me a spiel about what Residential Email provides.

I stopped her. Told her I didn't need to hear it, I had no interest in the service and that it was a fraudulent charge. She said that her records showed that I visited a website offering $1000 in coupons and agreed to the service in order to receive the coupons.

I told her that the information was received through fraudulent means, and I demanded that the service be cancelled and the $15.70 credited immediately. When I mentioned contacting the Better Business Bureau to report both ESBI and Residential Email, very interestingly, she had a script ready to go: "Ma'am, there is no need for further action, as you will be receiving a credit for the amount and your account has been cancelled." She repeated it a few times throughout the call. Gee, convenient that they would have that option covered...

She also had a routine to cancel the account [well, she claims it is cancelled...we'll see what happens], said that the amount would be refunded within 1-2 billing cycles, and when asked, said that I should pay my phone bill minus the $15.70 [though I am going to call AT&T to (1) report the fraud, (2) make sure they know that I will be underpaying the bill, and (3) ask that they prohibit any third-parties from charging my phone bill]. Again, convenient that she had a process all ready to go.

When I checked out the Residential Email site [not going to link to it], I see this:

Residential Email´s™ authorization to provide and bill its services is obtained by way of your electronic signature. Once submitted, this electronic order constitutes an electronic letter of agency authorized by your electronic signature in accordance with Residential Email´s™ specific terms and conditions. Residential Email´s™ reliance on your electronic signature, as obtained herein, is done pursuant to the Uniform Electronic Transactions Act and the electronic Signatures in Global and National Transactions Act. Both laws specifically preempt state laws that recognize only paper records or handwritten signatures.

Okay, so there is a slight chance that the company itself is above-board, and some data-mining scum had my phone, address, and name on a list. But I'm still pissed. At them, for accepting electronic signatures so easily. At AT&T, for blindly letting a third-party add on to my phone bill without contacting me. And I'm pissed because I have no idea where else I have been added to lists, so I'm going to have to be even more vigilant and put up with more telemarketing calls who claim I have requested their services.

Damn it. Grrr. Grumble.

rough waters

Been a weird few weeks of rough sleeping, spotty appetite, and just an overall wonky way of life...last night was another rough one, and I'm paying for it. Upset stomach, the tremors are a bit worse [pouring milk is fun...whee!!], that general "haven't slept in a while" disconnectedness that could be fun if the rest of the stuff wasn't there.

Happens every once in a while. Answer is to relax, take some time for myself, take some control over what I can, surrender to the things I can't, and ride it out. A big part of it is a conscious choice to get back to an even keel...so it's time to make that choice.

Buckling in for the ride, and away we go...yippeeeee!!!

sweet kitty

Pepper saw I was awake and decided he needed to lie down on my lap *now*. It's hard to type with a cat paw and chin resting on your arm...

...but I'm not complaining.

frickin' telemarketers

I despise spam in all its forms, but I am reserving a special place in hell for telemarketers. Not the people on the other end of the line, necessarily...they are just doing their jobs [though some do it better than others]. The companies that buy and sell lists, invest in auto-dialing infrastructure so they can make thousands of calls an hour in the hopes that some tiny fraction of a percent will buy...it is the exact equivalent of email spam.

Just got two 7am calls from a telemarketer. Especially annoying since it was another tossyturny night, and I was finally in a nice dream-filled state...I *hate* being awakened by a ringing phone. Ignored the first call after checking caller ID; answered second one to tell them (a) check the time zone, (b) I'm on the do not call list, and (c) remove my number.

Here's the latest 'they must burn in the fiery depths of hell' twist: the telemarketers are getting around the 'do not call' list by claiming that they are "returning a request for information". Bastards. Scum. Evil money-grubbing mud-eating mother-defiling puss-sucking donkey descendants.

Grumble.

the mp3 gods were with me

Went for a long walk tonight...was about an hour into it before I realized that the mp3 gods had sensed my mood and were delivering up shuffled bits of melancholy, slow, moody, contemplative, sad music. 832 songs in random order, and somehow they conspired to give me exactly what I was looking for during that walk. The universe heard my need and responded...

life is short

One of the online comics I read regularly is PVP by Scott Kurtz [Player Vs. Player, a geek/dork comic about characters who work at a gaming magazine. And a sometimes-invisible troll.]. The strip hasn't updated recently, which is odd [especially since he is in the middle of a mega-important thread in which two characters are *this* close to getting engaged...at Comic-Con, with the guy dressed up as Han Solo :^) ]. So I checked the site blog to see what was up with the delay, and found these:

http://www.pvponline.com/blog/3478/ringo
http://www.pvponline.com/blog/3480/friendly-dolphins
http://www.pvponline.com/blog/3487/durham-nc
http://www.pvponline.com/blog/3489/one-thousand-embraces

Poor guy. I especially choked up at him writing "I've never lost a friend this close before. I have no point of reference. I'm a huge-obese asshole and I have no heart problems and Mike did everything right and he's dead. How the hell do I reconcile that?"

<sigh>

It's funny. Just when I start to sink back into complacency, into that state of denial that all humans have to live in so we can function day-to-day, the universe seems to smack me upside the head [with varying degrees of force] to remind me that life is short. Anything can happen at any time, it's not all under your control.

I'm glad I took this time off to be with my parents. It's so tempting to pretend that we still have years together, since the imminent demise we thought we were facing two years ago didn't happen. Things like what Scott Kurtz is going through remind me to not take it for granted, to remember that we are born dying, that *all* time is borrowed time.

Years ago [during the "dark days of Stacey"], I found a card that I framed [and is now hanging in my bedroom]. It says "We have no say over the hand dealt us in life, but we do have a lot of control over how this hand is played. We are all responsible for bringing out the meaning of our own lives in each moment that we live. Remember each moment happens only once and can never be retrieved again."

I deliberately hung it in a spot where I would see it every day. It takes me back to my FTP days, when I was told that the root password for the west coast servers was "beertruck", because the admin could get hit by a beer truck stepping off a curb tomorrow, and someone needed to have the password. That silly little thing really stuck with me...even now, I try to live my life by the 'beertruck philosophy'.

Life is short...

skechers shoes are cracking me up

* Cali Gear are touted as being "light, sturdy, and waterproof". Translation: they are bringing back those plastic jelly shoes that used to stink your feet up in the 80s.

* Airators: shoes with an air bladder under the heel that puffs air between your toes with each step [you'd think the stinky plastic shoes would need that more].

is it can be caturday yet?

[ah, LOLcats...gotta love 'em]

Know what I love? Getting up early on a Saturday, getting random stuff done [dishes, straightening up, feeding cats], trying to watch what passes for Saturday morning cartoons nowadays [gods, I'm old...and those damn kids won't stay off my lawn!!], eating a bowl of Cheerios with copious amounts of sugar added, washing those dishes...

...then lying down to read and ending up falling asleep with a cat curled up snoring at your side. Yay Saturday.

Now I've got to run some errands, then off I go to a gathering to celebrate MyFriendJen's engagement [congrats Jen!!]. Not a bad day at all...

on pastels, introspection, supportive friends, and ripple effects

A chance find of an article about gender segregation in toys [dated December 1999, but still sadly relevant] got me thinking about pastels for girls, earth tones for boys, dolls and shopping and cooking for girls, guns and trucks and Legos for boys. How much of it is just part of who we are, how much of it is learned?

Then I thought about yet another way in which Stacey is a freak: she prefers darker colors, dressing in blacks and reds; she isn't into patterns and fringe and fluff when decorating [my place is mostly white upholstery and darker woods, with black, deep red, and dark green accents]; she doesn't watch Oprah, has never seen "Fried Green Tomatoes" or "Thelma and Louise"; she likes math and patterns and playing with words and numbers, works in the mostly-male-dominated IT support field...I could go on and on and on.

And *that* train of thought led me to thinking about a past love who said he appreciated my "uniqueness", but then spent most of our nearly three years together trying to change me, mold me, turn me into something he was more comfortable with. "Let's lighten up your wardrobe", "Some pastels would really soften you up, feminize you", "Hey, let's go shopping, I'll buy you some clothes that are different colors", "Those boots are so clunky...you'd look so much more feminine in a strappy heel." At first it was fun, like playing dress up, but it just wasn't me.

It took me a while to figure out just how much my confidence in myself was eroding from statements like this, day in, day out. Oh, there were a lot of other issues in play, it wasn't just being teased about how I dressed or ate or didn't cook or was scared about losing my individuality if we had kids or feared that I would end up with cancer [both my grandmother and mother had/have cancer]. But the "soften you up, make you more feminine" thing came up very early in the relationship, and I didn't come to recognize it as a warning sign until much later. After much talking, trying, couple's counseling, individual counseling, crying, bargaining, arguing, introspection, and tears I eventually made the hard decision to end the engagement, move out, move on [we are definitely better friends than partners].

Fast forward two years. I am on my own, far more accepting of myself, more confident. I like myself. Lots to keep working on, but generally, I'm okay with myself.

And I have a great support group around me. A small, close circle of friends and family who accept me as I am, even celebrate those things that make me "Stacey". They are all individuals themselves, and I love that I can surround myself with people I love, admire, respect. People who support me, have my back, encourage me, give me jolts of reality when I need it. People I trust, people who have seen me vulnerable, seen me strong, seen me happy/sad/neutral/manic/panicked/in charge/making it up/planning it out. People who have seen *me*, and are okay with what that means.

The irony of it is that without the hellish period of 2000-2001 and then the introspection and learning period of a few years ago, I wouldn't be where I am, and I wouldn't be able to appreciate the support and love of the folks around me. If I hadn't been willing/able to move on, to let go, to get out of a situation that wasn't healthy for me, then I wouldn't be stronger in myself now. And if I hadn't gone through what I did seven years ago, I wouldn't have had the self-awareness it took to even *see* the situation I was in a few years ago and then to act on it.

It all ties together. Everything we do, each choice we make...it all goes into who we are and how we see life. I finally chose not to compromise who I was and who I wanted to be...which in turn led me to my current circle of friends, the ones my parents were impressed with and loved, the ones that are so different and so individual, who in turn allow me to be different and individual.

Said it before and I'll say it again: I'm a lucky person.

But I'll add this: I worked damn hard to get this lucky.

change your mind

Another song whose lyrics really hit me. This came out when I was going through some rough, rough times...I was having to question pretty much everything I believed about life, love, myself, my priorities, how much to lose myself to keep someone else happy [not to mention how much I'd already *lost* of myself]. I was struggling with how to reset myself, start over, change how I approached things; I was worried I would never trust again, be loved again.

So the chorus of this really, really hit home...

Sister Hazel
"Change Your Mind"

Hey, Hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way
To just feel better,
Just feel better about today

Oh no-
If you never want to have
To turn and go away
You might feel better,
Might feel better if you stay

[pre-chorus]
Yeah yeah
I bet you haven't heard
A word I've said
Yeah yeah

If you've had enough
Of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in:

[chorus]
If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind...

Hey hey-
Have you ever danced in the rain
Or thanked the sun
Just for shining- just for shining
Or the sea?

Oh no- take it all in
The world's a show
And yeah, you look much better,
Look much better when you glow

[pre-chorus/chorus]

Hey hey-
what ya say
We both go and seize the day
'cause what's your hurry
what's your hurry anyway

[pre-chorus/chorus]

everything will be just fine

I really like these lyrics:

Jimmy Eats World
"The Middle"

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head
You feel left out or looked down on

Just try your best,
Try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away

[chorus]
It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right

Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own
So don't buy in, live right now

Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if that's good enough
For someone else

[chorus x2]

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head
You feel left out or looked down on

Just do your best, do everything you can
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts
Are gonna say

[chorus x2]

the semaphore code is cracked

Too cool:

http://www.mercurynews.com/search/ci_6626955

[I love the "communication skills" seminar they met at... :^) ]

what is love anyway?

Reading [okay, re-reading] [okay, re-re-dot-dot-dot-reading] "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls" by Robert Heinlein. It's moved into my "comfort book" spot, the book I read when I need to escape, to feel better about life, to dream. It used to be Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love", but I really like the relationship between Gwen and Colin Campbell...they love each other dearly, respect each other, and support each other through mishaps and typical Heinlein plots.

For years I've been quoting Heinlein's definition of love, so I smiled when I found it [yet another version of it, as it permeates his writings] on page 286:

"...the word 'love' designates a subjective condition in which the welfare and happiness of another person are essential to one's own happiness."

I like that. It doesn't mean co-dependence, or sacrificing your own happiness to keep the other person happy. It defines a give-and-take relationship, where mutual gain is the goal. Heinlein was a big proponent of love and caring...doesn't matter who, how old, what gender [though he did veer a bit creepily into incest territories...we won't go there]. He espoused a mix of internal and external interest...take care of yourself and your well-being, and also look out for others. Just respect each other, even if it means making tough decisions for the ultimate good of the people involved...none of Heinlein's characters take the easy way out, yet they always land on their feet.

Of course, his was a highly unattainable goal: all of his heroes and heroines are impossibly brilliant, speak 22 languages, are astounding examples of human sexuality, quick on their feet, think extraordinarily well in a crisis, and shoot from the hip [both literally and figuratively]. Lazarus Long [Woodrow Wilson, Corporal Theodore Bronson, etc., etc.] is a crotchety Methuselah who definitely takes care of his own self interests, but at the same time is able to love and respect people around him, in turn earning their love and respect. He believes in duty, in so far as it doesn't compromise his internal moral compass. He is a confessed hedonist, enjoying life to its fullest, yet also taking [wait for it] "time enough for love" [tah dah!!] and slowing down to revel in the relationships he finds along the way.

His mother, Maureen, is one of my favorite Heinlein women [tied with Gwen. And Minerva.]. Brilliant, gorgeous, no-nonsense, very straightforward and accepting of her sexuality, handling herself well while still admitting to the regular confusions and emotions that being human brings. She supports the people she loves wholeheartedly, but is also able to move on when needed [her marriage to Brian, two of her children with Brian...the way she handles them is impressive [see "To Sail Beyond the Sunset" for more on Mama Maureen's story...it dovetails nicely with "Time Enough for Love"]]. Again, another character who sets an impossible example...but it doesn't hurt to try.

I'm slowly building up my collection of Heinlein books and stories...visits to the used-book store are helping with that. A lot of the shorter books are fairly standard yet entertaining space stories: kids building rockets, families flying into space, different timelines and takes on the space race. Then there are the Methuselah stories, the tales of the Long families and the Howard Foundation, an incredibly intricate and intertwining narrative that Heinlein pays almost obsessive attention to. It's incredible to be reading a random book ["The Rolling Stones"] and realize that the characters and their stories show up peripherally in a later book [like "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls"]. Heinlein mapped out his timeline with amazing detail, even keeping track of different, branching timelines and characters. He has a graphical timeline of historical events throughout his universe and overlays the life spans of his major characters. His attention to detail shows, and is one of the many things that make some of his books multiple reads.

Gotta go...I'm a few chapters from finishing Gwen and Colin's story, then I have five other short novels that I just got this week [yay for used-book stores] to get started on.

whoa, freaky

Sitting on the couch with my laptop, connected wirelessly, using TightVNC to remotely access my desktop in the other room. Had to reboot other machine after latest round of Windows updates [quelle surprise], so was logging back into other machine from wireless laptop.

Freaky to hear the Windows startup sound issuing from an empty room...

brain monkeys...

...you know *I* hate 'em.

so i didn't get a drumstick...

...but I did score a set list!!


Oh yeah, that's right, baby...Night Ranger, playing the San Mateo County Fair. San Francisco boys, come home to rock, tonight, tonight, tonight, this boy needs to rock. Scary how names and lyrics came to me: Jack Blades, Brad Gillis, Kelly Keagy. Songs I hadn't heard in *twenty* years [eep!], and the words came pouring out of my mouth. Ye gods...brain cells that I'm never getting back.

I love my friend Susy [hiya, Sus!!]. We were shameless, rocking out, singing to each other, arms around each other swaying to the ballads. There was much of all of that tonight...and yes, "Sister Christian" was the first encore [of course]. They rocked it. <grin>

The whole night was awesome. Great conversation, heart-to-heart talk and sharing of frustrations and wishes and futures and life. Indulging in FairFood: sharing giant onion rings and a truly giant polish sausage before the show, and snarfing the world's best funnel cake after [with cinnamon sugar, hot and fresh and decadent and an orgasm on a plate]. Indulging in shameless, fist-pumping, standing up dancing, head bopping, full-on ROCKING!! WHOOO!!! DUDE!!

The boys were having a blast. They were laughing, rocking, having a great time. A few bad notes, some missed beats, but overall: yup, still got it [a nod to The Doctor there <wink>]. Three of the four original members, playing all the old favorites, a new song, plus a Damn Yankees song [set the Waybac Machine, Sherman...you might remember that Jack Blades was in Damn Yankees with Tommy Shaw [of Styx] and Ted Nugent [the Nuge] once upon a time].

There was a tribute to "na na" songs...the sing-along "na na na" bits that every band seems to have in at least one song. Journey, that "Na-na-na-na, hey hey hey, goodbye" song, and the quintessential "na na" song, "Hey Jude". The obligatory keyboard solo while the band went backstage to do whatever bands do backstage mid-set. The "bring out the chairs and the acoustic guitars" part in the middle, where they slowed things down a bit...Kelly Keagy did an awesome away-from-the-drums job on "Sentimental Street", the aforementioned Damn Yankees song ["High Enough"]. And one that actually got me all choked up...I'd forgotten how much I loved the song "Goodbye", and how it triggered flashbacks of emotions ["And it's hard leaving all this behind me now, like a schoolboy so lost, never found until now. And all this could be, just a dream, so it seems...I was never much good at goodbyes"]. I've always loved the phrase "memory-go-round"...

They seriously rocked "4 A.M." ["Four in the morning, came without a warning, everybody's got a place to be"], "Secret of My Success" [totally forgot that they did a theme song to a Michael J. Fox movie]. Not that they didn't rock the other songs, mind you...oh, heavens, no! They rocked! Verily, they rocked.

And the encore. Ah yes, the encore. As Jack put it: "if you do the math, you know there are at least two songs that we haven't played yet that everyone wants to hear...encores are a joke, you know we aren't leaving until we play these songs." :^)

"Sister Christian"...ah, memories. One of my favorites, and a crowd favorite as well. The band let us sing the first stanza all by our little lonesomes, then they joined in and played and sang the hell out of it. Last song of the night was "Rock in America", more anthem rock as was required by law during the 1980s.

Then it was lights up, and me scooching up to the front to try to score a drumstick or set list. Big, big thanks to the guy on stage who checked with the band and the roadies to be sure it was okay, and on getting the thumbs up, made sure I got the first one. Thank you, my anonymous, helpful, and very sweet benefactor...

Flush with the victory of scoring the set list, we made our way out to wander the midway and revel in cinnamon-covered funnel cake. Sweet, sweet indulgence and a rockin' evening. Thank you, Susy!!! You rock! We rock! We rocked! Night Ranger rocked! w00t!!

[ps -- you've gotta love the typo in the set list... :^) ]

happy early birthday, cole!

I know, I know, it's actually tomorrow, but wanted to get a head start on all the birthday wishes. Happy birthday to one of my two favorite nephews!! :^)

Love and hugs --

-- stacey

catching up with the gang

Got together with my "support group" from my last job tonight...the gang that helped keep me sane [okay, a little less insane] and made it possible for me to keep smiling. I will always be thankful to Code Green for the friendships I found there...folks that I really want to stay in touch with, who are worth making the effort for.

I'm a lucky person.

yay! shipping sheldon!

My 'artist edition' of the latest and greatest Sheldon book [http://www.sheldoncomics.com]
is on its way...hurrah! The special thing about an 'artist edition'? Dave Kellett [the artist in question] numbers the first 250 and includes a full sketch on the inside front cover. Last time, I got number 17...wonder which number I'll get this time??

To quote Flaco: Squeee!!!!

the best feeling in the world...

...is sitting down and relaxing at the end of a brisk two-hour walk/hike.

The worst feeling in the world is standing back up again... :^)

a conspicuous lack of zzzzs...

You know what I hate?

Being awake to hear those 5am birds start chirp-chirp-chirrurping.

Frickin' birds.

recurring pattern

Pepper is sleeping on a robe at the foot of the bed (put there explicitly for him), Bean is lying on my legs purring away.

Didn't take them long to fall back into the bedtime pattern...

been a while...

Mom and Dad are gone. It was a good visit...a really good one. Mellow, a bit of personal tourism ["let's drive the path of Stacey's life, from present-day Palo Alto, winding up, up, up the Peninsula"], a trip to Monterey and the Aquarium, lots of good conversations and shared laughs, the San Jose Flea Market, working our way through season two of the new Doctor Who [I have the coolest parents].

A wonderful, goofy, complex, sweet, crazy birthday package from my father. Shared tears and a loving shoulder with my mother. Mutual pride. Showing off of friends and family to each other. A few hours away on my own, which helped me appreciate the time with them that much more.

Somehow fifteen days flew by faster than I would have thought possible.

Thank you, Mom and Dad. For coming out, for sharing the time, for letting me show off my world to you.

I  love you.