what is love anyway?

Reading [okay, re-reading] [okay, re-re-dot-dot-dot-reading] "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls" by Robert Heinlein. It's moved into my "comfort book" spot, the book I read when I need to escape, to feel better about life, to dream. It used to be Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love", but I really like the relationship between Gwen and Colin Campbell...they love each other dearly, respect each other, and support each other through mishaps and typical Heinlein plots.

For years I've been quoting Heinlein's definition of love, so I smiled when I found it [yet another version of it, as it permeates his writings] on page 286:

"...the word 'love' designates a subjective condition in which the welfare and happiness of another person are essential to one's own happiness."

I like that. It doesn't mean co-dependence, or sacrificing your own happiness to keep the other person happy. It defines a give-and-take relationship, where mutual gain is the goal. Heinlein was a big proponent of love and caring...doesn't matter who, how old, what gender [though he did veer a bit creepily into incest territories...we won't go there]. He espoused a mix of internal and external interest...take care of yourself and your well-being, and also look out for others. Just respect each other, even if it means making tough decisions for the ultimate good of the people involved...none of Heinlein's characters take the easy way out, yet they always land on their feet.

Of course, his was a highly unattainable goal: all of his heroes and heroines are impossibly brilliant, speak 22 languages, are astounding examples of human sexuality, quick on their feet, think extraordinarily well in a crisis, and shoot from the hip [both literally and figuratively]. Lazarus Long [Woodrow Wilson, Corporal Theodore Bronson, etc., etc.] is a crotchety Methuselah who definitely takes care of his own self interests, but at the same time is able to love and respect people around him, in turn earning their love and respect. He believes in duty, in so far as it doesn't compromise his internal moral compass. He is a confessed hedonist, enjoying life to its fullest, yet also taking [wait for it] "time enough for love" [tah dah!!] and slowing down to revel in the relationships he finds along the way.

His mother, Maureen, is one of my favorite Heinlein women [tied with Gwen. And Minerva.]. Brilliant, gorgeous, no-nonsense, very straightforward and accepting of her sexuality, handling herself well while still admitting to the regular confusions and emotions that being human brings. She supports the people she loves wholeheartedly, but is also able to move on when needed [her marriage to Brian, two of her children with Brian...the way she handles them is impressive [see "To Sail Beyond the Sunset" for more on Mama Maureen's story...it dovetails nicely with "Time Enough for Love"]]. Again, another character who sets an impossible example...but it doesn't hurt to try.

I'm slowly building up my collection of Heinlein books and stories...visits to the used-book store are helping with that. A lot of the shorter books are fairly standard yet entertaining space stories: kids building rockets, families flying into space, different timelines and takes on the space race. Then there are the Methuselah stories, the tales of the Long families and the Howard Foundation, an incredibly intricate and intertwining narrative that Heinlein pays almost obsessive attention to. It's incredible to be reading a random book ["The Rolling Stones"] and realize that the characters and their stories show up peripherally in a later book [like "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls"]. Heinlein mapped out his timeline with amazing detail, even keeping track of different, branching timelines and characters. He has a graphical timeline of historical events throughout his universe and overlays the life spans of his major characters. His attention to detail shows, and is one of the many things that make some of his books multiple reads.

Gotta go...I'm a few chapters from finishing Gwen and Colin's story, then I have five other short novels that I just got this week [yay for used-book stores] to get started on.