Monday, September 17, 2007

letting go

A few years ago, I had to make the tough decision to let a twenty-plus year friendship go. It was incredibly hard; I agonized about it for far too long, and needed some help to work it out and figure out why I was so conflicted. I finally came to the realization that I was clinging to the ideal of what the friendship was, and glossing over the less-beneficial aspects of it. Long story short, I was putting more into it than I was getting out of it.

It was an important lesson to learn, and it's one that has been on my mind these past few months. I am realizing that I need to take inventory of my life, my relationships, my priorities...distance myself from them for a bit, look at them as objectively as I can, see if the reality measures up to the dream. Nothing drastic or dramatic; just figuring out what my priorities are and try to keep from pouring myself into buckets that are bigger than they should be. Time to pull back, reset my own expectations and limits, focus on what matters to me. It's not going to be easy, and it's not going to be quick, but it needs to be done.

To quote a sage: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's the knowing when to run part that's difficult. That never seems apparent until afterwards.

stacey said...

Yeah, that annoying 'hindsight' thing.

Somewhere deep down, we know, but just aren't ready to admit it or willing to let the patterns coalesce quite yet. Then when they finally do [or the situation is changed for you], you look back and wonder why it took you so long to put it all together.

Did that with a few jobs, too...looked back and wondered why in the world I had stayed there so long.

semba04 said...

wow, your so human